Love me tenderly
by LivvieLovesEl
Summary: Sometimes, you have to lose someone to realize the real depth of your feelings for them. What happens when Elliot and Olivia are forced apart? Read to find out. E/O
1. So this is it

_**Love me tenderly**_

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. If I owned them, Chris would be in season 13, so our beloved Elliot Stabler would get a divorce and start dating Olivia *sigh* but I guess we are free to dream…**

**I do own the rest (plot, idea, etc.). This story takes place after the shooting. I hope you like it. Oh! And please let me know if you think the title is alright for it.**

_**Chapter 1 – So this is it…**_

It had been a week since it happened. Since that shocking afternoon when Jenna came into the bullpen with that gun, shooting everyone that made the 'mistake' of being standing or walking at that moment… wrong place, wrong time.

Olivia came in that morning, after spending too many sleepless nights to count caused by the regular object of her thoughts, but this time it wasn't because she couldn't stop picturing how he would make love to her, it was for a different reason: she was worried about Elliot. As she left his coffee on his desk, she sighed… she had a bad feeling today.

She was worried because even though her partner tried not to show any trace of weakness or anguish, she knew him. She really knew him. And after almost thirteen years, he couldn't fool her. She could tell that his mind had been running 3000 miles an hour, reeling with thoughts and feelings based mostly on guilt. Was it the right decision, to shoot Jenna? _If it had been me with the gun, I wouldn't have been able to do it. _Was it avoidable?_ Who knows, it was necessary… Knowing Elliot, THE protector, I don't doubt that he decided to fire after considering- in one split second- the possibility of Jenna starting to shoot the few people she had left alive after her first tirade._

"Good morning, Liv." He startled her out of her thoughts. And she could feel, as always, how her own eyes brightened at the sight of this fine, beautiful man inside and out, even if a week ago he had to kill a girl younger than his youngest daughter. Olivia shook her head, trying to get rid of the memory, at least for the moment.

"Good morning, El. How are you?" a question that people usually make out of habit, for them it always had a deeper meaning, now more than ever.

Elliot looked at her and kept her gaze for a moment, during which Olivia could watch his feelings passing by like the trailer of a horror movie. After what seemed like ten minutes but in reality were seconds, he gave her a smile that couldn't quite reach his eyes and answered "Thanks for the coffee, I really need it if I want to get through this morning." Olivia didn't fail to notice that that last sentence had a deeper meaning and her worry multiplied by 100. Yet, being the detective she was, she tried to dig a little deeper in his thoughts.

"What's up? Couldn't sleep?"

He took a sip of his coffee and swallowed hard. "Yeah, that and… I…" he lowered his gaze to the floor, and stuttered "I need to… to talk to you… later."

A horrible feeling formed at the pit of her stomach, she thought she was going to be sick. Her heart started pounding loudly and she could feel her body shaking. "W-Why later? We-we haven't caught a case yet. Why not now?" she was horrified to notice that her voice was trembling, a lump forming around her throat almost choking her. She swallowed hard, and stared at him as he took a deep breath and said the line that turned her day into her worst nightmare "I need to talk to Cragen first."

He lifted his eyes, colliding with hers, slowly nodding._ So this is it,_ Olivia thought. For a moment, both of them were flooded with memories, starting from the first days together, how she was there for her when he thought he could have gotten HIV, the whole Gitano case, when she said _"Like you said, you're the longest relationship I've ever had with a man, who else would put up with me?_", those moments Elliot had Olivia's back during her search for her brother, that heavenly hug after Eli's birth, the undercover mission when she had to pose as his hooker and he was shot.

The shooting at the airport-he had been so scared that it was her that Porter hit, not Rojas-, how he took care of her that day she had the flu and how hard he worked to clear her name when Brady Harrison framed her for murder, how scared he was for her when he heard that she was being held hostage at the morgue.

And then came the memories of their last times together: how worried he was about her getting too emotionally attached with Calvin because her little sip of motherhood would only be temporary, how he was there for her when the boy was taken away; when they watched that college boy and his little brother reunite after years of search and comforting hug he gave her after Olivia helplessly watched Sonya's life slipping away through her fingers. The Swingset – how natural it was for them to pose as a married couple- and the Kenneth Turner case.

When their eyes filled with unshed tears, they turned their heads to their computers and tried to pretend being focused on paperwork that didn't even exist. It took all of their strength for both of them not to burst into tears right then. When Olivia couldn't take it anymore, she got up and ran to the stairs that would lead her to the rooftop, she wanted to be able to sob somewhere she wouldn't be noticed.

Elliot's eyes followed her as she left; he could see she was deeply hurt. So for the thousandth time he asked himself the question that had been haunting him since that shooting, _is this the right decision? _As he reflected on their life together, their Partnership- in every meaning of the word- he argued with himself:_ NO, it's not! I don't want to! It's the most painful choice I've ever had to make. But if I want to keep my sanity as well as my family together, it's necessary… it needs to be done._

He was startled out of his thoughts when heard the noise of a door being opened, signaling that Cragen's meeting was over. He watched as his CO – and the only father figure he had for years - dismissed the uniformed officers coming out of the office. He waited a minute and with heavy feet, he got up and walked towards the door –which the Captain had left open- and almost timidly knocked on its frame. "Cap, do you have a minute? I need to talk to you".

Don Cragen lifted his eyes from the DD5 he had been about to sign and studied his favorite detective –even if he wouldn't admit it to anyone, Elliot was like the son he never had – and he knew, he just knew as their gazes collided, his son came to say goodbye.

**A/N: I know the beginning is sad, but stick with me, better times will come, I promise. Please let me know how I'm doing.**


	2. I plead guilty

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 2 – I plead guilty.**_

"Of course, Elliot. Come in, have a seat".

As Elliot took his seat and faced his captain, he tried to find the words he had been rehearsing over and over during the whole ride from Queens to Manhattan. All he came up with was a blank.

It didn't help that Don Cragen was staring at him, wearing an expression that plainly said he didn't want to face whatever words the detective had to say. Because he already knew.

Deciding to break the uncomfortable silence that had settled for five minutes, the captain said "So… what did you want to talk about?" - _Might as well get it over with._

_I might as well get to the point._ "Cap… Don… I'm here to file a request for transfer"

He tried to talk him out of it anyway; he wouldn't give him up without a fight.

"Elliot, I understand that last week's situation has gotten to you, but don't you need more time to think about a decision like this? I know you love this job, you love this Unit… you're one half of the two most dedicated detectives I've ever had under my command, I've watched you both leave a piece of yourselves in every gruesome case, and that's what made you great…"

Elliot interrupted him then "That's exactly why I need to leave. I've given so much of myself, I don't have anything left. Don, I'm falling apart, my family is falling apart… that shooting was a wakeup call that seems to be accelerating the process and I need to stop it!" By the time Elliot finished that sentence, he had to take a deep breath to slow down the rapid pounding of his heart. He was shaking; he could barely speak with the tight knot that had formed around his throat. He swallowed hard, hoping to calm himself, but it didn't work

"Please, Don, don't make it even harder than it already is, I'm ashamed to look into my colleagues eyes… I took a child's life, for Christ sake!"

This time, Cragen interrupted him "It was necessary! That girl was about to kill everyone!"

"You don't know that!" Elliot was shouting now, sign of his frustration caused by the whole situation. He paused for some seconds, taking two deep breaths, and tried to continue.

"That shooting ruined my life: I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't think, I can't even look into my children's eyes, or my wife's either!"

"Elliot, if the real reason you're leaving is because of the guilt you feel for shooting the girl, you should know that feeling is gonna follow you everywhere, no matter where you transfer to, even if you move out of NYC or if you decide to quit being a cop altogether. Why don't you take a medical leave? Get some counseling or therapy. Whatever helps you cope and make you feel better. We'll keep your desk just as you leave it, ready for you when you decide to come back."

"Cap, my decision's been made; you won't be able to change my mind. My time in SVU is over. It hurts like hell… believe me… but I need to change." he sniffed, and that's when he felt the tears running down his face. He didn't even bother to wipe them.

They held each other's gazes for a moment, until Cragen sighed and opened his drawer, grabbed a folder and took out a transfer form. He looked at his detective with sad eyes and handed the pages over to him.

He felt terrible, it wasn't supposed to end like this, he saw those two from the very beginning, watched their partnership flourish and become the best of the unit, New York's finest. The loyalty they felt for each other went beyond words and reason, their friendship was tangible and anyone could tell they needed each other to function. That's when his thoughts turned to Olivia, the other half of this 'dynamic duo', and he had to ask:

"What about Liv? Does she know about this?"

"I think she… can see it coming. I told her a few minutes ago I needed to talk to her and she paled. I don't get why she would be so upset, she can totally do this job without me, she's the best."

"Elliot, I don't think she is afraid or insecure about the prospect of doing her job without you, but I do think she relies on you a lot when it comes to her feelings, even though she tries to hide them all the time…"

He paused and took a deep breath, as if making a decision right at that moment "In fact, since you're about to leave, I think it's time for me to speak to you like I would speak to my son: you know Olivia doesn't have a family, SVU became her family. And you… especially you, became her rock. From outside the lines, I can see her eyes light up whenever you come into a room, she feels safe with you in every meaning of the word…" He stopped talking for a moment, trying to avoid giving away Olivia's real feelings, even though she hadn't said anything to him directly, he could tell she was in love with her partner. "What I'm trying to say is that you can't expect her not to be affected by this shocking news, even if she saw it coming".

Elliot got up, with the forms in his hands, and walked to the door. Before opening it, he turned around and asked his soon-to-be-ex-CO "Who are you gonna be pairing her up with? Fin or some rookie detective?". Elliot voice took a disdainful tone when he mentioned the new potential detective.

Cragen raised his eyebrows "Why are you asking?"

The detective chuckled miserably, bittersweet. "Since you won't be my CO anymore, I'll talk to you like a concerned son to his father…" He paused for a moment, trying to get his thoughts in order "I wanna make sure she'll be safe after I'm gone. The thought of her getting injured in the line of duty… because I'm not there to protect her… scares the shit out of me."

Elliot felt guilty; he was staring at the floor while he poured those feelings.

Cragen realized that and pounced on it, one last attempt to get him to change his mind even though he knew it was impossible

"But you're leaving anyway…"

The Captain never answered who would be Liv's new partner; but Elliot couldn't stand to stay in that office for another minute. He turned around, opened the door and left, slamming it shut in the process.

He took a moment to observe the environment around him: Fin was on the phone, Munch was making coffee and the rest was fairly calm… but Olivia wasn't at her desk. With even heavier feet than before he climbed the stairs to the rooftop of the building, as he prepared himself for the most dreaded conversation he'd ever have.

**A/N: Please, review.**


	3. Bittersweet Words

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 3 – Bittersweet words**_

When he got to the rooftop, he took a moment to watch her from the distance. His partner; his best friend, his 'Office Wife' as Kathy so jealousy put it… his Olivia. Deep down, he had always thought of her like that, but he never could bring himself to admit it, or his marriage would have been over a long time ago. That beautiful, tall brunette, was temptation itself, and it really didn't help the fact that she owned the most beautiful, selfless, loyal and noblest heart he'd ever been lucky to get to know.

She was leaning on the railing, both of her hands with a painful grip on it. Then he became aware of a noise that he didn't recognize at first, and shifted his gaze to her back: that's when he noticed it was shaking with excruciating sobs. He couldn't see her face, as she was looking down to the sight of the city, but he could tell she wasn't really admiring the landscape. He watched her silently for a minute, trying to decide whether or not it was a good moment to approach her. He tried to reason with himself _I should go and comfort her, where are your balls, Stabler? What's the matter with you? ._But his own conscience would answer:_ You are the reason she's tearing apart, sobbing until she couldn't have any tears left. What kind of man does that make you? What kind of partner, what kind of friend are you, walking out on her?_

So he repeated to himself, again, like some kind of mantra_ I'm doing it because it's necessary, it needs to be done. _He watched helplessly as she slowly lowered herself to the floor, getting on her knees, folding her arms in front of her and hiding her face behind them, crying almost like a child.

Did it affect her that much? Was it because he was leaving? Yes, it did and yes, it was. Because Elliot was the reason why Olivia came to work every day, whenever she would laugh it was always as a product of Elliot's jokes, whenever she would cry he was there to hold her. He was her partner _for better or worse _and she couldn't picture her life any different. Because her job was her life and she was married to her job, therefore her life was Elliot. She would gladly give hers to keep him safe.

Elliot checked to see no one was around before slowly walking the 20 steps that separated him from Olivia in the big rooftop. He put a hand on her right shoulder and she could feel herself filling with the warmth he always brought to her by the simplest touch. She didn't acknowledge him though; she didn't want to have that conversation anymore than he did.

He placed a second hand on her left shoulder and tried to get her back on her feet. Before he could see her face, she turned around, took some distance from him and quickly run a hand down her face, wiping her tears and running nose. She took a deep breath and asked in a rather defensive tone.

"What are you doing here?"

Olivia never ceased to surprise Elliot when it came to tactics to 'avoid the issue'. As if she hadn't known why he came looking for her, as if she hadn't been crying because of The Issue itself.

"You know why I'm here, Liv. We need to talk; I've got something to tell you"

Olivia turned around almost violently; revealing her flushed face and puffy red eyes as they focused their powerful gaze against his own blue orbs.

"Well, I don't wanna hear it, Elliot. I know what you're going to say and it hurts like hell… but I guess I can't avoid this conversation forever". Her voice was barely above a whisper, it was as if she didn't have any strength left to talk.

Elliot heaved a sigh and started "I'm leaving the unit, Liv. There was only so much I could take… it's over for me"

He had prepared himself for the hardest resistance against his decision, especially coming from her more than anyone, even Cragen, but, as always, she surprised him when it came to her emotions.

"El, I know what this job did to us -and still does- I was there, by your side, always. Remember? And as much as it hurts the idea of not having you beside me every day, I understand your reasons; it would be selfish of me not to".

He watched as her face crumpled then, tears falling again. She sniffed and tried to continue "You should know, though, I don't wanna lose you as my best friend…" She looked at him hopefully, but she already knew he would want to distance himself from her if he wanted to fix his life _and keep his wife happy, _she bitterly thought.

He hated himself then, even more than he already did, for what he was about to do.

"Liv you know my m-marriage is falling apart, you know what Kathy thinks of us… what I'm trying to say… trying to make you understand… is that by leaving the unit I mean… all of it."

She felt as if she had been slapped on her face as she stared at him with wide eyes "You mean… leaving me…" Suddenly, all of her anguish turned to anger and she raised her voice "So you are sacrificing our friendship because your wife is jealous, isn't it enough that you're leaving the unit? You want me out of your life!"

"Liv, wait a minute, let me.."

"How could you? After all we've been through together! Kathy doesn't trust you and I have to take the fall? Ok, Elliot. I won't call you, it will be like I've never existed during the last 12 years of your life, but let me make myself clear here: this is your decision!".

She bolted for the door, leaving Elliot to wonder what had just happened for a few seconds. When he realized the way he was ending his friendship with Olivia, he ran and caught her in the middle of the stairs.

"Liv, Olivia, wait!"

He grabbed her right hand, intending to stop her, but she tried to break free from his grip. When that didn't work, she tugged her hand harder and lost her balance, almost falling down the whole flight of stairs, but he caught her in time, he saved her as always. _Figures, _she thought bitterly. Olivia fixed gaze to the floor, she refused to look at him.

When he finally caught his breath, Elliot gently took both of her hands and while he caressed them tenderly with his thumbs, he tried to start again "Liv, you left before I could finish. I guess I was never good when it came to expressing my feelings but…" he hesitated "you should know that I-I care about you; a lot… look at me!"

He waited until she met his eyes to continue. "Really, a lot! I'm not asking for you to never call me again, I'm asking for you to give me some time, to settle things down at home, just lay low for a while. I know this is a lot to ask for and I have no right, but it's actually a favor, a favor I'm asking you as my best friend"

This time, his eyes filled with tears and it was everything he could do to keep them at bay. "I couldn't give you up for anything, ever! You are a huge part of my life and you don't have any idea how hard this is for me. I already miss you, I already feel empty knowing I won't be seeing you every day, sitting in your desk across from me."

Feeling deeply touched after Elliot's words, she took a deep breath, to savor the moment, as bittersweet as it was, and to calm herself down. Her voice came out a little above a whisper as she tried to shift the conversation to safer subjects. She was afraid that she might spill her feelings right then, something she didn't plan on doing ever.

"So… what now? Where are you going?"

"First, I'm taking 2 months of medical leave to get some counseling. You know I hate shrinks but as hard headed as I am, even _I_ can tell I need some therapy to get back on my feet" He chuckled bitterly. "After that, if my doctor says it's ok, I'll take a position at Queen's Homicide Unit"

She felt a rush of jealousy, which she tried to cover up but failed. "Kathy must be happy… finally, you're going to work near your home" All she could do is hope Elliot hadn't notice.

"Things with Kathy haven't been going so well lately. It doesn't help that I've been having nightmares about the shooting the whole week, now she's mad at me because I don't let her sleep"

"But, doesn't she know what happened?" She asked.

"Part of it… she doesn't need to know it was a fifteen-year-old, she wouldn't understand"

"But isn't she capable to understand the fact that you had to shoot a girl only because you had no choice and that situation would traumatize any human being?" Olivia was outraged. She couldn't believe the lack of support her best friend had in his so-called Family.

Elliot sighed, defeated. "Liv, to be honest, I don't even know if she cares anymore. She doesn't seem to be the woman I married 25 years ago. The very few words we say to each other usually end up in horrible fights… I just want her to know that I did everything in my power to keep my family together…" He looked at her with something that resembled regret… and something more she couldn't quite place or describe.

So Olivia bluntly replied "Meaning, you're willing to sacrifice the people who care about you and love you, just to keep your wife happy, while you're not even sure if she still loves you"

"Liv, I…" Elliot tried again to explain but he was interrupted.

"As I said, I understand your reasons… I do. Doesn't mean I agree with them, my friend" She tried to give him a smile that couldn't quite reach her eyes. "So how about we grab a bite? All that crying left me aching for a good meal… I could swear I have low blood pressure"

As always, she changed the subject, and tried to laugh her true feelings off. Elliot watched her, amazed and felt his throat closing up. That was Olivia, his soon-to-be-ex-partner, who would remain his best friend no matter what… 'His' Liv.

**A/N: Up next, we get to see Liv's life after Elliot departure. And, a little bit of Stabler's point of view. Beware, there's a jump of time, almost two months ahead.**


	4. Thinking of you

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 4 – Thinking of you**_

**Two months later…**

Even if that morning it was raining, the precinct was calm, but that didn't surprise Olivia. But, hey, what else was new? Nothing surprised her lately. As she took a sip of her regular coffee –from the same coffee shop she used to buy for Elliot and herself- she realized that she couldn't even savor its taste.

Last week, Fin told her that he had been dating the woman of his dreams for a year and a half, and was planning to propose to her, and it took all of her strength to force the fakest smile into her face and congratulate him, because nothing came natural to her anymore. Ever since Elliot's departure, it was as if she had lost the ability to feel anything.

She closed her eyes, trying to block the pain but it always stayed, no matter how many hours she had been pulling in overtime to forget, how many praises and commendations she had been getting lately for her flawless job or how many criminals she put away; the void was still there, deep down inside her heart.

Elliot… she thought about him 24/7 and wanted to call him so bad, just to hear his voice…just a few words would do, to bring her some peace… but she couldn't cave in and break her promise. She was keeping a low profile, unnoticed by the monumental pain in the ass that was his wife. _Kathy. That bitch… how could she treat him like that? She doesn't deserve him. _And her own conscious answered_ Stop it, Benson! It's not as if he were to leave his wife and declare his love for ya! Accept it, move on._

"But, I don't want to…" Did she say that out loud? Something must be really wrong with her. _Great! Now I'm talking to myself… _she thought sarcastically.

She checked the calendar sitting on her desk, in a few weeks, if everything turned out alright with his therapy, Elliot would be starting his new job. She was hoping he would call her at least to let her know… but she highly doubted he would. _Maybe now that everything's OK with his wife, he won't risk it… or maybe he got used to not seeing me every day, he probably doesn't need me anymore._

Thankfully, she was startled out of her thoughts by her boss.

"Olivia! We caught a call of a DB in an alley. Take Fin and go" Cragen handed her a post-it with the location. She got her coat and waited as Fin finished some phone call.

"Munch!" The Captain continued "I have a meeting at 1PP, get the rookie to fill his damn fives before I kick his ass, he's a week behind on his paperwork. I know we all hate it but it needs to be done! I want the reports on my desk by the time I get back."

_Poor guy… _Olivia chuckled. The new detective had been working with them for a month and nobody could recall his name. They didn't even try. Everyone hated the rookie only because he was Elliot's replacement… and there he was again inside her mind. She shook her head and got up, as Fin grabbed his coat and walked together toward the elevator.

* * *

><p>"Dad, did you see all those Universities? What do you suggest I do?" Elizabeth Stabler asked her father. They were reading letters and brochures describing what each one had to offer to its students, and ruling out the ones that didn't convince Elliot.<p>

Lizzie was a genius, and it didn't take long for her grades to become almost national knowledge. As a result of that, these institutions were playing tug-of-war to take his not so little girl. He was reading all of the brochures to appease his wife, but he already knew he wanted her in the city, his daughter could choose whatever she liked as long as it was in New York.

Kathy, of course, didn't agree with that. She wanted her daughter to go to LA –yes, the other side of the country- and convince Elliot to take a job there and move out. _Far from this city, and even further from **her**. That slut…_

She knew Elliot was daydreaming about Olivia all the time, he was always pensive around her, and whenever she tried to start some kind of conversation, he would respond with monosyllable words. He was worse now than during his time in SVU and it frustrated her to no end. It didn't help the fact that he hadn't touched her since two weeks before the night he came home from that shooting. First, it was because he had a lot of work, after that, he was traumatized and now… he was just tired. _Of what? For God's sake!_

Apparently, his therapy drained him because he didn't have any other activities, besides staying home and helping the kids with their homework while she was at work, if they let him … _that's BS…_

But now she couldn't blame Olivia, she knew he had cut every mean of communication with her. _That bitch had the ability to play havoc with my marriage when she was around, and now she does the same even when she's not? _Kathy couldn't believe it.

As she sat little Eli on the couch for him to watch cartoons, she heard her cell phone vibrating on the kitchen counter. She actually ran to get it before anyone could and found out she had one message from that new handsome surgeon, Dr. Jonas Kosakov. Her new distraction. At least, someone **was** paying special attention to her lately. She smiled at the screen of her cell and started texting him back. Then, she announced out loud, "I'm taking a shower!" and practically ran upstairs.

None of that went unnoticed by Elliot. But he'd never ask about it, he was confident he would find out… eventually. He had his suspicions about the reason behind Kathy's weird behavior, but the evidence was circumstantial. _You're such a cop, couldn't stop thinking like one, could you?_, he told himself. He couldn't stop thinking ABOUT one, either. _God, I miss her!_

Thank goodness, his psychologist had given him green light to go back to active duty. Only two weeks left before starting in Homicide. Once he was finished with all the boring introductions he would have to go through, he'd get acquainted with his new desk and phone, and he already knew who'd be receiving his first call. He couldn't wait to hear her voice.

He briefly wondered if she was safe… was she with Fin or that stupid rookie? Was she taking care of herself? Was there someone keeping an eye on her so she wouldn't work herself to death? He sighed, worried.

Was that rookie trying to make any moves on her? That thought angered him terribly, and he was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to punch something. Only when he closed his hands in a tight grip, he noticed he had the letter from UCLA in his right hand.

"Woah, Dad, I get it. You don't want me to go to Los Angeles, it's ok. But what did the poor piece of paper do to you?" Lizzie startled him out of his thoughts.

He laughed and shook his head. His daughter took the hint and dropped the subject. He just kissed her forehead and went to the kitchen; he needed to fix something for lunch.

Ten minutes later, while he was chopping an onion, his wife came downstairs, grabbed her coat quickly and her keys "You don't mind if I have lunch with Bethany, do you?" She looked at him nervously, she really sucked at lying.

Elliot raised his gaze to her and she dropped hers, trying to hide her guilt. He just shook his head and said "Go ahead, have fun."

"Oh, and by the way, I forgot to tell you that two nurses of the night shift called in sick for today, they asked me to cover for one of them, and I said yes… so don't wait up for me."

As Kathy closed the door, Elliot thought y_ou don't have to worry, Kathy, the only reason I'd be up tonight would be to avoid my nightmares… or thinking of someone else…_

**A/N: Coming up next! We meet the rookie and Elliot starts his new job.**

**A/N 2: I want to thank each one of you who took the time to review my story! Your messages give me the motivation I need to keep writing! Thank you, so much.**


	5. New

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or its characters. I wish I did, though. I do own the new detective, Dwayne McAllister. **

**A/N: You do remember Lucius Blane from the episode Fat (season 7), don't you? ;)**

_**Chapter 5 – New**_

Monday morning came pretty fast, and Elliot started his way to the new precinct. He was nervous, considering his last first day on a job had been almost 15 years ago, when he started in the Special Victims Unit. The only thing that relaxed him, only a little, was knowing the drill wasn't that much different compared to the occasions they had to resolve dead victim's cases in SVU.

Sooner than he thought he would, he found himself parking the car on the precinct's street. He paused briefly in front of the steps and took in the sight of the new building that would become his 'new' house. He approached the door and stretched an almost hesitant hand to open it, but before he could reach the handle, it opened on its own and some big guy came out in a hurry, running into him in the process.

"Woah, I'm sorry, man! Didn't see you standing there…." The guy turned around… and Elliot couldn't believe it. _No way…_

"Stabler? Long time no see. What are you doing here, man?" The man stretched his hand waiting for Elliot to shake it.

"Lucius Blane, how have you been?" As he shook the big guy's hand he could feel himself tensing up; he had been hoping not to meet with any familiar faces yet. And this one in particular, reminded him of a time when he was anything but fine… when he basically turned Olivia down for the sake of their friendship, to avoid losing her, which backfired terribly. She ended up asking for a new partner, and he had almost lost her for good back then… but she had a heart of gold and forgave him, even when she came back from Oregon and he became the biggest ass ever.

"I'm fine! I'm not in Queens SVU anymore, I'm in Homicide. Look, I'd like to catch up with you, but I'm on my way to a crime scene. See ya later!" And with that, Blane took off.

Elliot shook his head to clear his thoughts and sighed. _Ok, here goes nothing…_

* * *

><p>"I know this is hard, Lisa, but if you want to get justice for this crime, we need to do that rape kit. I'll stay and hold your hand if you want…" Olivia said softly.<p>

"I don't care! Leave me alone! I just wanna go home…" The 22-year-old blond girl was hysterical. She was so stressed that her blood pressure went up in seconds as did her heartbeat. Olivia made a quick decision and called the nurse. They had to sedate her.

As she turned to leave the room, she caught sight of the 'rookie', who was waiting for her outside talking to the recently arrived victim's parents. She still refused to call him 'her partner'; in her mind, there was only one partner she'd ever had.

He was tall, had brown hair and black eyes. He came from an Irish wealthy family, loved to work out and he was handsome… he really was quite a good catch. But he could even dance in front of her naked and she wouldn't bat an eyelash, because he wasn't Elliot. _Olivia, this daydreaming needs to stop. For all you know, Elliot surely solved his problems with Kathy and they would be making a new baby if it weren't for the fact that Kathy's already coursing her menopause. Focus on your JOB! _She mentally shouted to herself.

Sighing, Olivia approached the family and began to explain the situation, and the importance of getting that rape kit. They understood and promised to talk to their daughter as soon as she woke.

Detective Dwayne McAllister fell all over himself to give them his card, needing to do something. He had been in Manhattan SVU for almost two months and his partner barely acknowledged him. What was her problem? He wasn't a rookie; he had been working in LA SVU for five years before coming here. He was totally capable and experienced to do his job. On the bright side, her lack of attention allowed him to watch her without her noticing. _Man, she is hot!. _

He briefly wondered how that Stabler guy had managed to resist temptation for twelve years. Seriously, there must've been something wrong with him, was he impotent or something? For the last four weeks, all Dwayne would daydream about were images of him taking Olivia up against the wall. And she starred most of his dreams at night as well. He had to find a way to make her notice him. He had to.

As they were coming out from the hospital, he made an attempt to start some small talk.

"Hey, Liv! Can I…"

"It's Benson, McAllister!" she snapped.

She felt a little guilty for a moment, the guy didn't do anything wrong, yet she was treating him almost like one of the perps they usually catch. But she kept her professional distance, glaring at him. On the other hand, she could tell that this guy had the hots for her, and she really wanted to make sure he saw the huge imaginary illuminated sign she carried on her forehead that said _BACK OFF!_

"But the others call you Liv…" He played innocent, but he secretly loved to get her angry. He didn't exactly know why she didn't allow him to call her by her nickname, but he knew she hated when he did it. And her anger turned him on even more than he already was because of her beauty.

So he did the unthinkable, he pushed things a little further: he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, 'casually' grazing one of her breasts and said "Why don't you loosen up a little bit, Olivia. You're so uptight…If I didn't know better, I could swear it's been years since you got a good fu…" he didn't finish. Olivia raised her hand, and was about to punch him when she remembered all the effort she had been putting to get a promotion. She really didn't need to stain her jacket or her reputation for a prick like this…

So she pushed him away and took a few steps backwards to distance herself from him. To avoid doing something she might regret. She was shaking with rage.

"You're disgusting, McAllister!" she shouted, before turning around and getting in the car. She took off, there was no way he'd be spending any more time with her today and even less of a chance considering the car was a small space.

Watching her leave, he replied in his mind: _And I couldn't want you more… you'll be mine, Olivia… eventually._

**A/N. Yes, I know this is short but it's kind of a 'transition' chapter, the bridge to the next one. I'll give you a hint about number 6: there'll be some interesting phone calls. Please, review!**


	6. Phone Calls from Queens

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 6 – Phone calls from Queens**_

Finally, after two hours of pointless introductions, and another two spent in a meeting with his new boss, Elliot took the seat behind his desk with a sigh. He still couldn't believe what his captain had said to him.

His new CO told him that at first he would be working with Blane, but that would be only to get him acquainted with Homicide's drills and 'habits'. That didn't surprise him, he actually expected it and it wasn't that bad. At least, he already knew Blane.

But then, Capt. Donahue revealed to him that in two months he would be retiring. And that was the reason he offered _him specially_ this position, to get one of New York's best detectives on board his unit. This meant that in 2 months, Elliot was going to be the man that ran it. Meaning, he would be promoted to Captain.

A slow smile came to his face as he thought of it _Captain Elliot Stabler… _not the unit he thought he would end up leading, but those were great news anyway. He wanted to share them with the people he loved and celebrate with them; this would be a great occasion to finally face _her_ and his friends after so much time apart. So he made a quick decision, and picked up his desk phone, dialing a familiar number. His best friend and ex-partner's precinct phone number. As it rang, he wondered anxiously how she was doing, he would find out soon enough…

But nobody picked it up, so he tried again 10 minutes later… and still, silence. And twenty minutes after that, the same happened. He sighed and finally tried to reach her cell phone.

"McAllister." A man answered her phone, and Elliot's blood boiled. He couldn't even try to speak, he was paralyzed.

"Hello?" the guy asked, and he tried to calm himself down. _Relax, idiot! Maybe Liv changed her number… _he swallowed.

"Isn't this Detective Benson's phone?" Elliot asked.

"Oh, yeah. She left it in the kitchen before she went to take a shower, she's in the bathroom right now" McAllister had a hunch, he was almost positive that this guy on the phone was Olivia's last partner. And although Olivia was a reserved person, he could tell there was history there… so he took the chance to mess with him a little. He conveniently avoided to let Elliot know that the kitchen was, in fact, the precinct's kitchen (not her home's) and the showers were actually in the locker room.

"Who's speaking?" Dwayne asked in his best 'jealous boyfriend' tone.

"I'm Detective Stabler, from Queens' Homicide. I need to speak to her as soon as possible. Could you tell her to call me asap? It's urgent…"

_Got cha! So this is the famous Stabler… good. I'm gonna mess with him a little more…_

"Is this about a case?" McAllister played stupid. "Because _I'm_ her partner, and I wasn't aware that we had any open cases in collaboration with Queens' Homicide".

Elliot could read through lines and immediately decided that it was time to end the call. He could bet that this jerk wouldn't tell Olivia he called, and he certainly could smell that the guy had the hots for her.

"No, it is not about a case." Elliot answered quickly; the jerk didn't need to know more. At that moment, he decided it was time to run a background check on this guy… so he played a little nicer to get his name "So you're her new partner, what's your name?"

"I'm Detective Dwayne McAllister, I came from LA SVU to cover your position, so… nice to meet you, I guess" Dwayne was getting nervous, the whole conversation was awkward.

_Can't say the same, _Elliot thought. "Look, I've got to get to a crime scene, please tell _Liv_ to call me. Thanks!" He hung up. If Olivia hadn't called by 4 pm, he would try again, or he would try to stop by her department after work. Kathy would have to get over it, he just didn't care anymore.

Besides helping him cope with the memory from the shooting, he discovered that he had underestimated counseling before, as he came to some new realizations. One was the fact that staying with Kathy would be useless. She didn't love him anymore. She didn't respect him at all.

And the other -and most shocking- was that he… he was in love with another woman. Not any woman, THE WOMAN that had supported him and stood by him no matter what during the last thirteen years.

Yes, he fell in love with Olivia Benson. He could admit it to himself now, but it terrified him. What scared him the most was the idea of confessing his love for her, which could turn out great if she returned his feelings and if she was willing to risk their friendship. Or it could ruin everything if she didn't feel anything resembling that kind of love for him… What if she was dating this dirt bag she had for a partner? What if she'd moved on to someone else?

Olivia was a beautiful woman; she surely had a long line of guys waiting for her to date them. At least, when he was with her all the time, he was pretty sure his sole presence made them back off. But now, they would be circling around her like vultures hunting for food.

So the day went by, uneventful. He spent his time catching up on paperwork and, the last two hours before he left, Capt. Donahue called him to his office, to give him the introduction to his future job as Captain.

When he left, he could tell he was about to have a headache. He had had to learn so much new information… he sighed and checked his phone. Just like he thought, the McAllister must not have told Olivia he called.

He waited till he got into his car, so he could talk to her without the city's interfering noises. On the second ring she answered with a smile in her voice.

"Benson!" Of course, she already knew it was him.

"Hey, Benson! It's Stabler." He told her with a grin in his voice. He was so happy to hear her again after all this time… he almost couldn't contain his joy.

"Let's cut the damn 'last name' formalism, El. How are you?"

"I'm fine, today was my first day in Homicide. It was tiring, but good. Really good"

He bit his lip to keep himself from pouring his feelings right then. He couldn't believe the effect this woman had on him. And she had only said ten words since this conversation started; visiting her would be bittersweet torture.

"Mmm… I know you, El, and I can tell there's more to that… I'm curious." She laughed, and he melted. Until that exact moment, he hadn't realized how much he longed to hear that laugh.

"Are you still at the 1-6? Or you've already left for the day?" he asked almost nervously.

"I'm finishing some paperwork from the case I closed today. Tomorrow, I plan to be on the field all day; I've got to interrogate ten students from Hudson University that are suspects from a girl's rape I caught a week ago and several witnesses also"

"Ok, you think you'll have it finished within an hour?"

"Actually, yeah. I was planning to stay here for an hour, and then take a cab home. My car broke two days ago, had to tow it yesterday to my mechanic's garage. Why are you asking?"

"I was wondering, if I could go to your place and have a few beers with pizza, just like old times? Of course, that is if you don't mind. Or if you'd prefer for us to go to that bar down your street…" He was trying so hard not to stutter.

"What is it with the sudden shyness, Stabler? You're always welcome in my home! That hasn't changed and it won't ever change. I think we would feel more comfortable to talk in a quiet environment and I'm pretty sure my apartment can provide that a lot better than a bar. But I must warn you, tonight I'm on call."

"It doesn't matter; let's just hope the perps take a break for tonight. I'll pick you up from the precinct in an hour… if that's alright with you."

"It's more than alright, it's great. I can't believe I'm talking to you… we really miss you around here…" her voice took a sad tone, and his heart started pounding with hope that maybe, just maybe, those feelings he felt weren't one-sided.

"I can't believe it, either. Those months were the longest of my life; I'll tell you all about them later. I've gotta go; if we keep talking I won't be able to get to Manhattan in time. See ya!"

"OK, El. See ya later!" And with that he hung up. He was so excited; finally he was going to see Olivia. After almost three months from hell, he was convinced that she was the light at the end of his tunnel. Thank God they didn't have to be apart for a longer period of time, he didn't think he could take it… and hoped to God he'd never have to find out.

Too bad, some say God works in mysterious ways.

**A/N: Coming up next: the long awaited encounter. **


	7. Between catching up and pizza

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

**A/N: Hey! I'm back. I'm sorry for the lack of updates, but my laptop's screen died, and I haven't been able to fix it, yet. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, please review! I promise to update sooner if you do. :)**

_**Chapter 7 – Between catching up and pizza**_

After her conversation with Elliot, Olivia hurried up and finished her paperwork in record time. Then she almost ran to the locker room to check her clothes: she was wearing a dark red shirt, black slacks, boots and jacket; she wanted to look good to meet him.

She sprayed herself with perfume, checked her make up and glanced at her watch. Still twenty minutes left until his estimated arrival time.

She sat again at her desk, trying not to let anxiety consume her. She drummed her fingernails against the table, while she bounced her leg up and down repeatedly and after a few minutes, she would changed position. After three rounds of that nervous wrecking routine, Fin stood up and gave her a weird look, to which she responded by shaking her head, making it clear she didn't want to talk about the real reason she was so nervous, so he settled for saying good bye for the day, no questions asked.

Five minutes later, her cell phone rang, making her jump a foot up in the air. She automatically answered it, and was surprised to hear herself agitated.

"Benson,"

"Hey, Liv! Didn't you say we should cut the damn 'last name' formalism? I'm outside the building, you can come down now"

"Ok, I'll be there in a minute".

For once, she didn't wait for the elevator, she took the stairs. In seconds, she opened the precinct's door to catch sight of his car was parked out front. Even though she had thought he would wait for her inside the vehicle, she was gladly surprised to find him standing there in a relaxed stance, with one hand in his pocket. His shiny blue eyes matched the dark blue from his shirt, he looked like a model. _Damn, he is hot! _She thought for the millionth time since the day she met him. His outfit was completed with a black leather jacket and black jeans.

He gave her an almost shy smile but his eyes spoke volumes, they were full of emotion. As they met each other's gazes, she started walking slowly toward him until they found themselves wrapped in an equally emotional hug, that lasted more than a few seconds and almost had them shedding tears.

Finally, Elliot sighed and reluctantly let go of her to take her in: she was thinner but still healthy, her hear had few more lighter streaks and he could tell that today she had given special attention to her look, even her make up was different compared to how she normally wore it.

"Hey, Liv" he said with his most beautiful smile, and she melted inside.

"Hey, El" she whispered as she smiled back to him.

He finally let go of her, and reached for her hand and lead her to the car. "Come on, let's go and take as much time as we can"

Olivia was voiceless, after saying hi to him her brain had stopped cooperating. She got into the car, and waited for him to start the engine.

After a short ride, which was spent in silence, and a phone call to order the pizza, they sat on the couch. After a while, Elliot couldn't take the elephant in the room anymore.

"So Liv, what's on your mind? It's not like you to be so quiet"

She tried to fetch for an excuse for her odd behavior, but she could never lie to him. After a moment of hesitation, she started to talk.

"Honestly? I still can't believe our time apart is over. I'm sorry if I'm a little tongue tied tonight, we have so much catching up to do and I don't know where to start. You should know that a part of me believed that once you fixed things at home, you'd just forget about me"

"You're wrong. You're my best friend, you know that. I could never forget you… " he paused. "Actually, I never got to fix things at home, at least, with my wife. During the last two or three months, I got to spend a lot of time with the kids, but not with her, she's at the hospital all the time." He hesitated for a moment and tried to test the waters with her "I don't think she spends all of it working, if you know what I mean…"

"What are you saying?" Olivia turned a little to the side, crossing her right leg over the left, facing him.

"I'm saying that I'm almost sure she's having an affair with some doctor that works with her. I'm not surprised, considering the fact that I haven't touched her in months"

"Ok, that is way too much information about your sex life… but let me ask you, what are you gonna do about it? I mean, if your suspicions turned out to be true." She asked cautiously.

"After all those unfounded accusations, I stuck around for her and the kids, I did everything I could to save this marriage, only to find out she has no qualms about throwing it away for some sex with a surgeon…" he spoke in a quiet, resigned tone. He sighed. "The truth is, Liv, she doesn't give a shit for me anymore. This realization became crystal clear after the last three months. She didn't even ask me how I was doing, not even once" he ran a hand down his face, a gesture he always did when he was speaking about personal stuff and felt uncomfortable about it.

Olivia could tell he was hurt, even if he tried to project a façade like it didn't affect him, but the truth was it did. Elliot was facing the end of his marriage, his only truth for more than 25 years, and he was mourning. Even if that love had been gone for the last years, it was painful for him.

After timidly laying a hand on his leg and squeezing it, Olivia said "You know you can count on me, whenever you need to talk, vent or cry…" She looked at him with those kind eyes of hers.

Elliot, who had been looking to the floor, raised his head and he had tears in his eyes "I can't believe I asked you to stay away, it was all for nothing… I'm sorry, Liv"

"El, it's OK. You know I'd do anything for you." She kept caressing his thigh in a reassuring way.

He was getting goose bumps from her rare display of affection, so he took her hand in both of his and said "You have no idea how much I missed you"

"I missed you, too. But, Elliot, you're here now, and that's all that matters." She wanted to shift the conversation to happier thoughts, but she was interrupted by the bell. Their food had arrived.

During dinner, they covered a lot of ground catching up about Fin's upcoming engagement, Munch's upcoming retirement and Cragen's new hobbie: he was taking saxophone classes.

Olivia told him things hadn't been the same without him as her partner, she couldn't seem to find the motivation she used to have for field work. She had been putting a lot of effort though, and was closing a record quantity of cases, but she was doing it so she could get a promotion. She needed a change of air, and certainly it didn't help matters the fact that she didn't feel comfortable with her new partner.

After that, she changed the subject and asked him about his new job. He grinned as he broke the news about his promotion. And she was truly happy, there was no one that deserved that position more than he did, and she told him so. Then, she joked about his temper, he would have to find a way to control it if he wanted to remain in this job, both professionally and healthily speaking.

For a moment, a comfortable silence settled between them and Olivia took that time to pick up the dishes and put them into the sink. She glanced at the clock in the kitchen; it was a quarter past eleven. _Wow! More than four hours talking, I didn't even realize it was so late…_

She washed and he dried. After that, they cleaned the table in perfect synchronism, as they did everything else together.

"Want some coffee?" Olivia asked.

"Sure" Elliot saw it was late, but he didn't care, he wanted to spend as much time as he could with her.

Soon, they were sitting on her couch again and Elliot took the chance to ask her the question that had been floating in his mind all day.

"So, you said that you haven't been getting along with your new partner… want to tell me about him?" he asked carefully.

"His name is Dwayne McAllister, he comes from LAPD… I don't know, I mean, he seems to be good at his job, but we don't exactly click" she frowned as she thought about her current partner.

"What do you mean?" he wanted to find out more about this guy.

"We don't coordinate. We can't seem to work as a team, either he takes the lead or I do. I must say, most of the times I do, because I'm not comfortable with the way he takes point on those investigations, he doesn't seem to care about the victims." She decided to leave out the part where she didn't feel safe with him; McAllister didn't seem to know how to watch her back. But Elliot didn't need to know that, knowing him, it would make him feel guilty for leaving, and he didn't need that right now.

But he could tell she was leaving something out, so he pressed for more information.

"Olivia, is that the only reason you can't stand him?" He raised his eyebrows to underline his point.

She hesitated, but she gave in. This was Elliot, her best friend, and she could tell him everything "Well, it might have to do with the fact that he's hitting on me all the time…"

"What?" he tried to hide the jealousy, but it came out clear. Olivia, however, read it as overprotective indignation.

"Well, he might have tried to touch me in an inappropriate way but don't worry!" she hastily said as she watched the veins in his neck throbbing in anger. "I put him in his place."

"Liv, do you need me to…" just as he was about to ask her if she needed him to get the prick to back off, he was interrupted by her ringing cell phone.

"Oh, God! I only ask them to give me a break for one day! Just one day! I was having such a good time…" she complained before picking up. "Benson" She listened for a minute before reaching for a pen and a paper and scribbling down an address. "OK, I'll be right there".

She turned to Elliot and said regretfully "I gotta go"

The look in his ocean blue eyes mirrored her feelings "I know. Do you want me to give you a lift to the scene?"

"Elliot, that's a lot of trouble, I couldn't ask you to… you should go home. It's getting late"

"No, Liv, you said it yourself: it's late and you don't have your car. I'm not letting you go in a cab. Let me take you there, no one is waiting for me at home and I would rather spend more time with you, I mean, if you don't mind…" He said with pleading eyes, the ones he knew she wouldn't resist. Secretly, he also thought he could have a chance to meet McAllister and mark his territory, but she didn't need to know that.

Olivia wanted to spend as much time as she could with Elliot too, so she gave in "Ok, but you know this could take hours so, drop me there and go back home. I know that tomorrow you have to be early at your precinct, too". She gave him her most charming smile, and he felt his legs almost give in.

"You got it, milady" He smiled and winked at her, and was surprised to see her blush.

She tried to cover it, and said between laughs "What's with the middle age manners?"

He opened the door and held it for her to go first, in a gentlemanly way he offered his hand with a bow, and said "Shall we?" trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably.

Both of them snorted and were laughing all the way to the elevator, which they took arm in arm.

**A/N: Next, the other long awaited acquaintance. **


	8. Cooperation

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! As I promised, here's the next chapter… I hope you like it!**

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 8 – Cooperation**_

After a short ride, Elliot parked his SUV in front of the park. They could see the blinking lights of the other squad cars; the crime scene was situated about two blocks inside the woods. Olivia was about to ask him if he had to go home, she could walk by herself to the location, but the words got stuck in her mouth as she felt his hand in the small of her back, leading her gently across the street, toward the yellow tape delimited square.

Five minutes later, they met Melinda, who was doing the preliminary exam of a teenager's body. Olivia quickly scanned the area for McAllister, but didn't catch sight of him. She sighed in relieve, she really wasn't looking forward to see him, least of all with Elliot by her side.

"Hey, Elliot! How does Homicide treat you? I never thought I'd say this, but we miss you around here… I would hug you, but…" Melinda lifted her bloodied latex gloves.

"It's OK, Melinda. It's good to see you, too." He smiled. It felt great to see some familiar faces and find out they didn't look at him accusingly.

"So, Mel, what've we got?" Olivia asked.

Elliot looked at her and took a moment to observe her, she was serious, concentrated, determined as always. She was pissed at the bastard who did this to the girl, whoever he was.

"Fourteen-year-old female, Caucasian, estimated time of dead about an hour ago, rigor didn't even set in yet. At first sight, cause of death seems to be a slit throat, the blade cut the carotid artery but there isn't enough blood here …" Melinda listed as Olivia took notes in her pad.

Elliot tuned her voice out for a moment, taking his time to scan the surroundings, looking for McAllister, even though he didn't really know what he was looking for. If the guy wasn't already there he should be arriving soon. Maybe he was at the scene, but Elliot didn't even know what he looked like, Olivia hadn't said anything to describe the guy physically and he never really got to do that background check. He would do it tomorrow, without fail.

He turned his gaze toward Olivia again just as she lifted her eyes up from the corpse to look at him. She smiled brightly at him, and for a moment, both of them forgot they were in a crime scene.

But that great moment was rudely interrupted by a male voice calling Olivia's name.

"Hey, Olivia! I missed you!" A tall, Hispanic man in his late thirties came in, wearing a designer's black suit, navy blue shirt and black tie. Before Olivia could stop him, he placed a kiss on her cheek, very near her mouth. When she realized her mouth was still open in surprise, she cleared her throat and threw him a look that could kill.

"For the thousandth time, McAllister, it's Benson! And who do you think you are to kiss my cheek? What gives you the right..." She just couldn't stand him. And to make matters worse, he interrupted her, again.

"Ok, Livvie. I'm sorry… it won't happen again" he was mocking her "Damn, you can be a real bitch, sometimes" he turned around and went to survey the crime scene unit do its job as if nothing was wrong.

Olivia was about to commit murder, she could already see the front page of the Ledger 'Detective murdered by his female partner in a fury attack.' She took a deep breath and was about to get back to Melinda's side when Elliot, a few feet across from her, cleared his throat. They looked at each other, communicating silently. That's how Olivia realized that even though he had kept quiet during her little argument with McAllister, he had seen and heard everything. His blue eyes were blazing with unreleased wrath.

Olivia sighed; he really was overprotective. And after the discussion he witnessed she had to introduce them. _This is not good…_

"Hey, McAllister!" She yelled at the jerk she had now for a partner. The man turned around and looked at her questioningly, pointing his index finger to himself.

"Yes, I'm talking to you, Detective! Please, come here for a moment"

Elliot chuckled as she rolled her eyes at him. She checked behind her back if the rookie was still at a safe distance and turned to Elliot.

"I really can't stand him. I try to be patient, not to snap at him, but he always manages to piss me off, as if it wasn't easy enough…"

Elliot opened his mouth to say some witty remark, but she interrupted him "If you know what's good for you, you won't be making any comments about my temper at the moment".

She tried to glare at him, to threaten him with the force of her gaze, but Elliot raised his eyebrows in a funny way, tilting his face a little in a mock surprised expression and she couldn't contain the laugh that escaped from her. When she calmed down, she turned again to see if the other detective was approaching them, but he had been held by a uniformed officer that was handing him a bag with evidence.

Olivia took the chance and warned her former partner "Even though I don't get along with him, I must ask you… please don't make any scene, Elliot."

Elliot looked at her and she was staring at him, her look a persuasive one. He knew what she was talking about; she was asking him to keep his temper in check, but proud as Elliot Stabler was, he would never admit she was right to warn him, so he played stupid.

"What are you talking about, Liv?

She checked behind her back again and saw that McAllister was now a short distance away, walking toward them.

"You know what I'm talking about!" She whispered rushed, exasperated. "Please, Elliot." She pleaded with him with her eyes. For what seemed like ages, they didn't break eye contact.

As they waited for McAllister to get there, she took her time to watch Elliot. He stood straight, front up, confident. Hands in his pockets, relaxed attitude, except for his eyes which revealed his real emotions. He was so handsome, so masculine, she felt herself melting at his sight. He finished her melting process up with a smirk and a wink, and her legs started to shake dangerously. _Control yourself, Benson! You'll give yourself away… idiot!_ She thought to herself. And she had to drop her gaze to the ground.

"So, Benson, why did you call me back here? I was about to question the guy who found the body…" McAllister had noticed Elliot while he was walking the last five steps toward them, and he tensed up. Who was this guy? Why was he standing so close to Olivia? He already saw Elliot as competition and he didn't even know who he was.

"Detective McAllister, I want you to meet Detective Elliot Stabler from Queens' Homicide Unit. He's also my former partner; he watched my back for almost thirteen years"

She watched nervously for a moment as none of the men made a move to shake each other's hand. When she couldn't stand the tension anymore she cleared her throat and was about to say something when Dr. Warner called her.

"Olivia! Come here for a second…"

_Thank God! _She thought to herself _- that was really awkward… _With one last look to Elliot, she walked away.

McAllister cleared his throat and started "So, Stabler. It's good to finally put a face to the name…" He reluctantly stretched his hand for Elliot to shake, which he did after an instant.

"Yeah. So, do you like it here in Manhattan?" Elliot wanted to get as much information as he could from this guy. He really didn't like him and he was spending a lot of time alone with Liv, like he used to do. He was suddenly invaded by a wave of nostalgia. He was grateful for the distraction when McAllister answered his question, interrupting his thoughts.

"The city is nice, totally different from LA, I guess… but it is good"

"Actually, I meant the Unit, as in Manhattan SVU?"

"Oh, that's going really well. At first, it was hard to get into the group, but I think I grow on people…" He chuckled and Elliot couldn't help noticing as a lustful look took over his face. "It's funny, you know, Stabler? The one person I can't seem to grow on is Olivia, and she's the one I want to get along with the most" then he raised his eyebrows twice and grinned "if you know what I mean".

Elliot's neck vein was about to explode, but he kept his cool and played stupid. He was sure the man wanted to gauge his reaction while he was talking about Olivia. It wouldn't take long for him to say something disrespectful about her, and Elliot would get his objective since he offered Liv a lift to the crime scene.

"Actually, I don't know what you mean. Care to explain it for me?"

"Oh, come on! You can't expect me to believe that in thirteen years of partnership, sharing meals, surveillance, stake outs and undercover missions, you failed to notice what a hot woman she is. She is tall, athletic, she has a temper and she doesn't beat around the bush when she has to say something. She's a total turn on, banging material" he almost licked his lips, and Elliot's stomach almost twisted.

Elliot walked until he almost got to Dwane's face, his first intention had been grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and coat, but then he remembered the look on Olivia's face when she asked him not to make a scene. He looked at him disdainfully, even though he was a little bit shorter than McAllister.

"Let me make something clear here, pal. I did notice everything about Liv, she's my best friend. But the quality that outshone above all was, and still is, that she's a beautiful woman inside out. She's the best person I've ever known." If looks could kill, Elliot's would have been guilty of murder one right at that moment.

He took a deep breath, to control himself, and continued. "So, before you dream about banging her like any other woman, if you know what's good for you, you'll stop bugging her."

McAllister's face took a defiant expression "Are you threatening me, Detective Stabler?"

"You think I didn't see you tonight, when you arrived? I know that's not the first time she told you to back off, but you don't seem to be able to listen. I'm just warning you, if you disrespect her or ignore her will and decisions, I'll have no qualms in taking care of you. Just so you know…"

"She's not that much of a sweetheart to me, Stabler. I can't believe she brought her bodyguard to make me feel threatened"

Elliot was about to grab him right there, but their conversation was interrupted by Olivia's voice. She approached them in a short run.

"McAllister, Melinda found the girls purse, there's something you should come and see"

Elliot moved to a corner, trying not to interfere with the investigation, but then he was surprised when Liv told him to come with her, too.

When both detectives gathered around her, she retrieved from her pocket a bagged ticket from a gas station shop. The victim had purchased some candy, an hour and a half ago. Olivia started to explain. "This ticket puts the victim at the gas station before the attack…" she paused for some instants, creating suspense.

"So, why did you need me here for, Liv? You certainly could figure that out without me…" Elliot joked with her.

She smiled as she answered "This crime scene is too clean, the victim wasn't murdered here. But this evidence puts her in your jurisdiction, too…"

Dwayne looked as if he was watching a tennis game, shifting his focus from one to another as they spoke. Then, Olivia said the most painful words to him.

"The gas station is located in Queens. Looks like we'll be co-working on this one…"

Elliot and Olivia stared at each other and smiled, excited about working together again. Detective McAllister, on the other hand, felt like crying.

**A/N: ****Please, review!**


	9. Achievement

**A/N: Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! Here's the next chapter, with a little more of Elliot and McAllister, and a surprise for Olivia. I hope you like it!**

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 9 – Achievement **_

After a busy night, Elliot, Olivia and Dwayne found themselves discussing the case at Queens' Homicide Squad Room. It was early in the morning and the weather was getting hot already. Olivia was at the front, wearing a light blue shirt and black pants. She kept capping and uncapping the marker, walking from left to right of the board behind her. Elliot was sitting on his desk facing her, his arms crossed and McAllister was wandering around their working area as they rebuilt the victim's last moments.

"OK, we don't have very much to begin with till we get the autopsy report, but according to the time registered in that receipt, one hour and half before finding the body in Manhattan, the victim was alive, here, in Queens" Olivia stated.

Elliot's nodded just as his desk phone rang and he turned around to pick it up "Stabler".

"How do we know if the time registered on the ticket was accurate? How do we know if the ticket was even from something she bought or some paper the perp put in our way to mislead us?" Dwayne asked in a challenging tone, intent on annoying Olivia by contradicting her.

But Olivia picked on his intention quickly and smoothed his comment by teasing him. "Who are you? Munch?" she asked sarcastically. She glared at him for a moment, giving him a warning look.

"Ok…" Elliot was still on the phone "Yeah… that information would put an end to the jurisdiction issue… that's right, thanks Will. We'll be right there" he turned toward the other two detectives "We've gotta go, that was Dr. William Thompson, our M.E.. They have the autopsy results" he grabbed Olivia's jacket and handed it to her before getting his and going to the elevator, knowing the other two were following him.

"You said something about the jurisdiction issue, what did he and Melinda find out? Did he tell you?" Olivia asked, as they waited in the hallway for the elevator doors to open at their floor.

"They found traces of mud mixed with the victim's blood…" Elliot paused for a moment to check if McAllister was paying attention to him. The other detective nodded and he continued "it matched a park's ground chemical composition, located two blocks away from the gas station. The evidence we have so far points us that the crime was committed at that park".

Olivia was about to answer him, when she was interrupted by a man's voice calling her name from across the hall.

"Benson!" Capt. Donahue poked his head from behind the door and caught sight of Elliot with two people "Elliot, which one of your companions goes by the name Benson?"

Olivia took a step forward and answered almost timidly "That would be me, Sir. Olivia Benson"

He approached her and shook her hand. "Oh, it's nice to meet you, Olivia. What a lovely partner you used to have, Stabler. Must've been hard to leave her" he winked at her, as he joked with them in a kind manner.

_Oh, you have no idea… _Elliot thought to himself only to be interrupted as Olivia asked "So, why were you looking for me?"

"Don Cragen called me, said he couldn't reach your cell phone… he needs you to go back to the 1-6 precinct now. Whatever this is about, it's urgent. He asked me to give you the message and to tell you that your partner can stay here with Elliot, canvassing the crime scene and its surroundings; you can catch up with them later" He waited till she nodded, acknowledging his instructions "It was nice to meet you, Detective Benson, have a nice day!" and he walked back to the squad room.

They heard the ring of the elevator and got in. When they got to the precinct's doors, they were about to split up to different directions when Elliot remembered something.

"Liv, wait!" he gently grabbed her arm to keep her from leaving "you got here this morning with me, your car is still at the mechanic's."

"It's OK, El. Don't worry about me. I'll find some other mean of transportation to get to Manhattan"

"No way, you'll never make it to the precinct in time. And God knows you don't wanna piss Cragen off..." he started rummaging inside his pocket, looking for his car keys. He took them out and offered them to Olivia. "Take my SUV, Liv. I'm not going to use it until I leave for the day, just take it. I have the police issued car."

"El, you don't have to…" Olivia had always been a very independent person; she hated to ask for help. Even if it was a minor favor, it was hard for her to accept it.

McAllister was tired of watching their kind interaction; it was making him feel sick and more than a little jealous, so he said impatiently "Oh, please. Just accept the damn keys and go! I want to get this case over with! I'm sick of it!". He stormed off toward the precinct's parking lot.

Olivia was shocked by his outburst but tried to cover up for it quickly as she saw that Elliot was about to charge at the guy.

"Ok, I'll take your car, El. Thank you, so much!" She gave him her sweetest smile and he felt as his insides weakened.

He grinned back a full smile, the one she had been longing to see for a long time. She took the chance to give him a grateful hug and was instantly surrounded by Elliot's strong arms. After that, he kissed her brow tenderly and released her.

"Go before Cragen gives ya hell!" he told her and watched her retreat toward his car, unaware of the other detective's eyes shooting daggers to his back from the distance.

The same man's voice startled him out of his thoughts "Can we go, Stabler?" McAllister said stiffly.

"Yeah, let's go" he said as they got into the police provided car.

The first ten minutes of the ride were awkward, each of them immersed in their own thoughts. Dwayne was trying to find a way to ask Elliot about his feelings for Olivia. Was it a loyal friendship? Or were there deeper feelings? After spending a few hours with both of them, he had gotten a clear view of that so called chemistry between them everybody had told him about.

On the other hand, Elliot's mind was wondering what Cragen could possibly want that was so urgent. He tried to remember if this had happened before, when Olivia and him used to be partners, but it hadn't. What if they gave her an assignment that would not only put her life in harm's way, but cut all means of communication like that time when she had to work for the feds? He sighed… he was worried about her.

Suddenly, his companion decided to start conversation. "So, Stabler, I'm not gonna lie. When I first met Benson and she told me you had been her partner for thirteen years, I asked her if you had left the unit because you were together but she told me you were married to someone else. That fact aside… Is there something between you and her?".

"Why are you asking, McAllister?" Elliot tensed up, his hands gripping the wheel so hard his knuckles were almost white.

_Mmm… a little bit defensive, aren't we?_ Dwayne thought to himself. He smirked, confident. "Because I've got my eye on her since that first day and if I have competition, I would like to know…". He looked at Elliot, waiting for a response but nothing came, the other detective remained silent so he continued.

"You're so easy to read, Stabler, at least when it comes to her. You have feelings for her, don't you? But, too bad, judging by the ring on your finger you're still married." Elliot raised his gaze to him after that last comment, but McAllister kept talking.

"You and I both know Olivia would never date a man who belonged to someone else; she's too moral for that. And all of that makes my pursuit to achieve her even more exciting that it already is".

Elliot didn't say anything to confirm the other guy's comment, but he already knew he had been busted. He could only hope this man wouldn't say anything to Liv, or their friendship would be destroyed.

"And what are your intentions with her, exactly? Because I have a newsflash for you, I've been reading you, too. You consider yourself a ladies' man and you are a son of a bitch when you make them fall for you. They're just trophies from your conquests, aren't they? I'm surprised someone like you would investigate sex crimes!" He paused for a second to take a deep breath "Let me tell you something, Olivia isn't naïve, she won't fall into your trap. And I wouldn't let her either, because **I** care about her. She's my best friend and I will protect her from scum like you!" At this point, Elliot was almost shouting in the secluded space of the car. He turned right, entering the vehicle into the gas station. After parking it, he got out quickly, slamming the door shut, leaving McAllister alone for a moment.

_It's so easy to push your buttons, Stabler… this is going to be the sweetest conquest of all._

* * *

><p>When Olivia arrived to the 1-6 squad room, she saw that Cragen's door was closed. She was hesitant to knock, even if he had said it was urgent she didn't dare to interrupt the Captain's meeting. So she took her seat behind her desk and turned on the computer to make good use of this spare time and check her e-mail.<p>

At that moment, Fin entered with a snack from the machine down the hall. "Hey, Liv! Didn't see you come in. How have you been?"

"Hey! I'm OK, you wouldn't believe who I am working my new case with…" She grinned and paused to create suspense.

"I already know, Cragen told us you're working with Elliot. How is he?" He smirked and winked at her.

"He's OK, thank God. He's dealing with the shooting's trauma, but he is way better than I expected. I'm so happy to see he's alright."

"So why are you here now? Shouldn't you be doing footwork with him in Queens? I could've betted you wouldn't have left him for a moment after all you've missed him…" Fin said with a knowing look.

"Actually, we were going to interview some witnesses when Cragen called his captain and asked him to tell me I had to report myself here immediately, it was an urgent matter. Elliot lent me his SUV to get here on time, but now Cragen's door is closed and I don't know if I should interrupt him…" She bit her bottom lip in doubt.

Just then, the Captain got out of his office and caught sight of her. "I thought I'd heard your voice, Olivia. Please, come in." When she got a pick of who was already inside his office her blood went cold, two One Police Plaza's authorities awaited her.

She quickly went through her mind, trying to find something she could have done wrong during her last years as a detective for them to be here, but came up with nothing. She swallowed hard.

"Detective Benson, it's good to see you! Please join us in our little meeting" Chief Muldrew said.

"It's good to see you too, Sir." Olivia answered as she took her seat.

Cragen sat behind his desk and intertwined his hands over the table. "So, should we discuss business, Chief Muldrew?" the Captain asked.

"Detective Benson, you're one of the best at your job, a job you've been doing at this unit for more than thirteen years. You and Stabler have the highest rate of solved cases in the entire city, and during the last months, you've proved that your efficiency hasn't changed after he was transferred."

Olivia was shocked, Chief Muldrew never praised anyone. "Th-Thank you, Sir" she stuttered.

"I'm here today, because all that hard work deserves to be recognized by everyone in the NYPD. You see, at 1PP we are creating a new department that will be involved, from now on, in every case shared by more than one jurisdiction…"

"Like the one you're working with Elliot now…" Cragen clarified.

"This has been motivated by the quantity of rapists that had been leaving victims across the country, and the department will be working also as the liaison with the FBI" the Chief explained.

Olivia's heart pounded so loud she almost couldn't hear their words, she couldn't believe it. First Elliot, and now Cragen would leave the unit also. "Captain, you're leaving the unit, too?"

"No, Olivia, you are. I mean, if you accept Chief Muldrew's offer"

"What?"

"Yes" said the Chief "If you accept, you will be promoted to Chief of 1PP Special Victims Department."

"But shouldn't Capt. Cragen…" she thought the captain was more capable to do that job than her.

"Olivia, in a few years I'll be retiring, they need someone young and effective. You are more than qualified to do that job. I'm so proud of you!" Cragen said in a paternal way. "What do you say, dear?"

"I-I-I don't know how to thank you, Sir. Thank you, so much! Of course I accept"

"No, Benson. We thank you, the whole city thanks you, you've earned it. You will be starting in a month. Cragen will let you in about the details of salary, functions, tasks, etc. I must go, now" they quickly shook hands and both 1PP'S chiefs left the office.

"Congratulations, Chief Benson" the Captain said with tears in his eyes. He was proud of his daughter. Because Olivia was the daughter he never had.

She just threw her arms around him, and said "Thank you, Cap. I'm gonna need you so much, I'm not sure I can do this alone…"

He let her go, and said "Don't worry, Liv. I'll be there for you… let's discuss the rest of the details…"

They talked for another hour and when Olivia got out of Cragen's office, she still couldn't believe it: she was going to be promoted by the end of the month.

**A/N: Please, review! **


	10. Never Assume

**A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait! My laptop's still broken and I've been working overtime for the last two weeks. About this chapter… I want you to know that this is the one I enjoyed writing the most, we're getting to the dark part of the story. I hope you like it though, and please… don't kill me after you're done reading it. **

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 10 – Never Assume**_

A week and half had passed since they caught their joined case, and they already had the name of the perp. On day two they found out Thomas Vincent had, at least, three different aliases and was the prime suspect in four open cases across the country. They had it all figured out, except there was one little problem: the criminal seemed to have vanished from the Earth's surface. They had been chasing leads to find him for days, always turning out to be dead ends.

After coming up empty handed again on day five, they decided to continue their investigation from their own precincts, promising to keep each other on the loop for any lead should it appear.

That morning, Olivia and Dwayne found themselves bright and early at the squad room. They were tired of this case and had agreed to dedicate whatever spare time they had between paperwork, calls and court to search for this perp. He had to be hiding somewhere.

She sighed, as she waited for her computer to finish the last search she typed. Her chin was resting on her right hand as she drummed the other hand's fingers against her desk. She wanted to know if Vincent's bank account or credit card had had any activities recently and was running the same task with the remaining fake identities.

Suddenly, an idea crossed her mind and she started typing again, this time looking for Vincent aliases' properties. She narrowed the list down to the ones that could make a good hiding-place, and soon enough she found out one of those buildings was, in fact, abandoned.

"McAllister, look!" She said as she pointed to her computer screen.

"Yeah…" he said as he stared at the result flashing on screen for some seconds, clueless about what it meant. "What are you so excited about?"

"Are you kidding me?" she snapped. "It's Vincent's best possible hide-out! An abandoned building in Staten Island. I bet he's there right now…"

"How stupid would he have to be to be hiding in the only building he owns that happens to be abandoned? A career criminal like him knows that's the first place the police would investigate"

Olivia was really tired, not only of the case, but her current partner. And her patience had reached its limit.

"Ugh! For God's sake, did you happen to miss class the day, back in the academy, when they taught your division 'not to assume'? Maybe this criminal is smart, and maybe he isn't hiding in Staten Island, but we can't take a lead for granted, there's too much at stake! For all we know, he could be attacking a new victim right at this moment!" She was shouting by the time she finished her rant.

"OK, Benson, calm down. We should at least check it out. Come on, dear!" he said with a smirk, as he started to walk toward the elevator without even waiting for her to get her coat.

Once in the car, as McAllister turned on the ignition, she called Hardwicke to get the search warrant. After stopping briefly at the D.A.'s office to pick the written document up, they started their way to Vincent's property and she remembered to text Elliot about their new lead.

_**Olivia: Hey, El! How are you? You still at that meeting? Anyway, just wanted to let you know we found out Vincent owns an abandoned building in Staten Island. McAllister and I are on our way to check it out.**_

She knew Elliot had a busy morning ahead of him; actually he was going to be attending a very important meeting about his promotion. She was surprised to hear the beep of her phone a minute later; she had assumed he wouldn't be able to answer her message right away.

_**Elliot: Hey, Liv! I'm fine and you? That's right; I'm stuck here even though they've finished briefing me one hour ago. I've gotta wait for the whole thing to end to leave this conference room. That is if Donahue doesn't drag me into another little reunion… Please, send me the address, if by some miracle this thing happens to cut short within the next hour, maybe I could catch up with you at the location.**_

She sent him the address and waited for his answer as McAllister asked her "Who are you texting?" his tone almost jealous.

"Elliot. I'm updating him about our latest lead"

"Is he going to meet us there?"

"No, he's in the middle of a meeting at 1PP. Even if he were called about some VIP case, he wouldn't be able to sneak out from one of those"

"Your ex-partner seems to be a very important man…" Dwayne said enviously, but Olivia either didn't hear it or chose not to.

"Yeah, he is…" she answered after a minute, a smile gracing her face as she heard the phone's ringtone signaling an incoming message.

_**Elliot: Ok, I hope I can meet you there but I don't think I'll be able to. They're nowhere close to wrapping things up here. Please, Liv, be careful. You saw what that man did to his victims; this perp's a real monster. Just… be safe, OK?**_

Olivia's smile widened. Leave it to Elliot to remind her she had to be careful, even from the distance. _He really cares…_

_**Olivia: Don't worry about it. I'm always careful, aren't I? See ya later!**_

Once she tucked her cell phone into her pocket, and she finished her last comment to McAllister with a proud smile "As I was saying, he is important. He'll be promoted to Captain by the end of the month…"

Dwayne seethed in envy after hearing that last comment, he couldn't even answer her, and soon they lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.

After trying to resist the awkward moment inside the police issued car for thirty minutes, she couldn't take it anymore, so she needed to break it "Traffic is terrible today, are we close?"

"Actually, I think in twenty minutes we'll be there"

Another twenty minutes of silence and just as Olivia was thinking they couldn't possibly had paired her up with a worse partner, he pulled over, parking the car in front of an old abandoned house. From their point of view, they could see it was surrounded by grid bars, and to get to the actual house, they would have to walk through a very abandoned garden. At first sight, they estimated the grass height would be around Olivia's chest. She gulped, even though she was never afraid of anything, this place looked creepy, sinister.

"OK, I think we should call for back up. That house is huge, it is too much ground for us two to cover" Olivia said pulling out her cell phone again.

"Olivia, we don't even know if the guy is there, don't request for back up just yet. We could be wasting resources for nothing!" he said, annoyed.

_I could shoot him right here… _Olivia thought_. _But she took a deep breath and kept her cool.

"Fine, but if we happen to come across the slightest sign of activity inside the property, I'll have to qualms in calling for unis" she said as they crossed the path to the horror-movie-house.

When they reached the door, they found out it had been left ajar. "Mister Vincent, this is NYPD! We've got a search warrant!" McAllister said and didn't get any answers.

Olivia opened a little further and went inside with McAllister following her close behind. They could hear as the old wooden floor creaked with each step they took. The hall was dimly lightened by the sunshine coming through the broken windows.

They went through four different rooms, with their weapons ready of course, and the stillness of the environment soon became overwhelming. Olivia took a deep breath and let it out slowly in an attempt to calm herself down and she moved to the next area; she couldn't seem to shake the feeling that they were being watched.

"I don't like this…" she whispered "too much silence"

"Yeah, maybe you should call for back up…" despite being murmuring, McAllister couldn't hide the fact that he was shaking. He was scared to death at the moment.

Olivia pulled her cell phone and sent a message to Munch, she couldn't risk giving away their presence to Vincent by talking to the radio if the guy was hiding there. Without back up, all the advantage they had to go on was the element of surprise.

They were about to go into the kitchen when they were startled by what sounded like a groan. They stopped for a moment, trying to recognize it and figure out where it came from, and they heard it again: a moan, a girl's voice. They tried to follow the noise as quietly as they could and ten minutes later, they found themselves at the entrance of a big, empty living room.

Except, in the center, there was a chair. They took a few steps forward and saw her, tied up, gagged and barely conscious.

"Shit! You were right, he has another victim and this is his hideout!" Dwayne whispered. He was shocked by the gruesome sight.

"Come on" Olivia said as she started toward the girl, but she was stopped as he grabbed her arm.

"Wait! What are you doing? Have you seen that room? There isn't even furniture to use as a shelter in case we get caught. If Vincent's really here, what you're trying to do is suicidal!"

"We can't leave that girl! It's our job to return her home safely!" Olivia said exasperated. "I'll untie her, but I need you to watch my back and return fire in case Vincent comes out of nowhere with a gun. It'll take less than a minute…" she pleaded him with her eyes. "Please"

"Ok." He gave in and couldn't help having a bad feeling about this. He walked with her to the center of the room, standing guard five feet behind her back as she started working on the ropes.

After a few minutes, he couldn't take it anymore and asked "What's taking so long, Benson?"

"I can't seem to undo this ankle…" she answered as she struggled with a knot.

"Hurry!" he said nervously.

Two minutes later, the silence was disturbed by what seemed like footsteps, fast footsteps. Olivia stopped for a moment and quickly scanned the surroundings for a moment, but they seemed to be getting further instead of closer, so she resumed her task, trusting her partner to keep watching her back.

Five minutes later, she finally undid the last bind. That's when she heard it, footsteps again. Only this time, they were getting closer.

"McAllister, we've got to get out of here fast!" she whispered "Help me with the girl, she's unconscious.."

But there was no answer from her partner. "McAllister?"

Silence.

That's when she turned around to find herself faced with the worst possible case scenario: McAllister wasn't there, she didn't know how or why, but he wasn't where he was supposed to be. She made a quick decision just as the footsteps reached the entrance of her location and picked the girl up herself, but it was too late.

At the doorway stood, smirking evilly, wearing a demoniac expression, Thomas Vincent with gun in hand. And it was pointed at her. She tried to unfasten her weapon from her hip, resigned but unwilling to die without a fight. And she promised herself she would, at least, save the girl.

So she turned around and started running to the opposite end of the room, as fast as she could and just as she was about to believe she had a chance to make it, she felt a sting and, a second after that, an excruciating pain in her right calve.

She tried to keep going anyway; limping, only a few feet left to reach the door… and there it was again, the same unbearable pain, this time, in her lower back, by the kidneys.

She fell, dead weight on the floor, bleeding, lying on her stomach. She was barely conscious and could hardly breathe as she heard the perp's footsteps approaching her, intent on delivering the last blow, the last shot to finish her off.

She tried to think of all the good memories she had from her life, there weren't many but in all of them there was only one constant, Elliot. In the middle of her mind haze between life and death, she wondered briefly how he would take the news of her decease, would he miss her? A clear image took over the fog, as she remembered those beautiful blue eyes. That's when she realized she was about to leave this world without telling him what she really felt.

_I wish I'd be given just one more hour to spend with him, to tell him how I love him, to say goodbye properly, and I would go in peace. I don't want to die! Please, God!_

That's when she felt as the third shot went through her right lung and everything went dark.

Just as Vincent was about to kill the girl that Olivia had been trying to save, McAllister came to from the blow he had gotten on his head. He stumbled behind the perp and didn't hesitate to shoot him twice: first on his right hand, which made him drop the gun; and after that, his leg, making him fall down.

After that, he fell on his knees, defeated. He made a huge mistake and, this time; it could cost his partner's life. What possessed him to try to check out the first set of footsteps, leaving Olivia's back totally unprotected? He realized his not so smart move turned out to leave his own back completely vulnerable, when Vincent came behind him and knocked him out cold with the back of his gun.

Everything seemed to be in slow motion as the house was gradually filled by their fellow back up officers and medical technicians, and he couldn't tear his eyes from his beautiful partner, who laid unconscious in a pool of her own blood. She looked more dead than alive.

**A/N: Oh, no! What's gonna happen to her? Please don't kill me! Just leave a review! ;)**


	11. Bad Feeling

**A/N: Before reading this chapter, you should know that the events described here take place from the same point I started Chapter 10. I mean, it's the same day, from Elliot's POV.**

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 11 – Bad Feeling**_

It was five minutes left to seven o'clock in the morning when Elliot entered the One Police Plaza building with coffee in hand. He had a very important meeting today with NYPD's highest authorities, along with the rest of Queens' units, and he had to be as awake as possible. Donahue had told him that it was going to be boring but, as Captain, he would have to get used to this 'torture' because it was scheduled, at least, four times a year.

"Hey, Cap!" he said as he met his Captain just outside the conference room.

"Hey, Stabler. Glad you could make it on time, the Chiefs here are very observant of those kinds of things, coupled with presentation… which leads me to ask: what happened to you? You look like you haven't slept a bit, and if I remember correctly, I specially pulled you from your turn to be on call last night so you could get the necessary rest for today…" he wasn't the captain for nothing, the man paid amazing attention to detail.

Elliot briefly considered lying, but he reflected that in a short time, he had built a great relationship with this man, almost like the one he had with Cragen, and didn't want to betray his trust. So he settled for telling half of what really happened.

"I had a complicated night, Sir. Things aren't going so well with my wife, they hadn't been for a while… Yesterday, we had the biggest argument ever and I finally reached a decision, some things are unsalvageable …"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, son. I know how complicated it is to keep a marriage with the job we have. It happened to me while I was a detective, but when I made it to Captain I stopped going on calls, which gave me more time to spend with my family, so Beth finally calmed down and my marriage survived. We've been married for over thirty years."

"Me too, Sir. It's been that long for me, too. But the last thirteen years had been a mess, I don't think there was a time when we got along, despite that we tried to stick together anyway for the kids. Now, all of them, except for the youngest, have grown up and I think they would understand. As for Eli, I think it would be less painful for him if we get divorced now that he's four, than waiting a few years until he's eight or nine, the scar would be deeper on him that way…"

"I take it you got married young?"

"Yes, I did. Kathy got pregnant with Maureen when we were eighteen… it was the right thing to do, and I loved her. But during the last twelve or thirteen years, whenever I was home, it was one argument after another, and that isn't good for the kids either. Our love for each other jaded increasingly until now, there isn't anything left"

"Well, as I said, I'm sorry. If you need some time off after this meeting, take it but let me know first".

"Actually, I was going to ask you for the rest of the day, I've got to see my lawyer and pack my things" Elliot answered, and nothing else was said about the matter.

A few minutes later, they entered the auditory and quickly took their seats, organized by unit. As the Chief of Detectives started briefing Computer Crimes, his mind wandered to the events that took place the night before.

_After having closed a very difficult case and a phone call to Olivia that lasted about an hour, Elliot opened the door to his house with a sigh. It was raining, a lot, to the point where it became impossible to see ahead of the car you had before yours. He massaged the back of his neck for a moment, trying to get rid of some of the tension. Elizabeth had a sleepover at her friend Abby's house and Richard was at one of his friends' birthday party. That meant he had the house alone with his wife. The only fact that brightened his awful reality right now was the opportunity to put Eli to bed. He didn't get to do that often. He smiled briefly, and proceeded to leave his keys on the kitchen counter and his coat on the couch, a little surprised about the stillness of the house._

_At this time, his little boy would normally be watching cartoons in the living room, but everything was dark except for the light that came from the kitchen, so he headed upstairs to check if his son was in his bedroom. Only to find it dark, too. _

_He shifted his eyes for a moment to look at the end of the hallway, and every door was closed, but he could hear his wife talking to someone in the background, so he knew she, at least, was at home. He switched the light on in Eli's room, only to find it empty, too._

"_What's going on?" he whispered to himself out loud and frowned, as he started toward his bedroom. That's when he heard it, a moan, coming from his wife. He stilled his movements, and tried to listen carefully._

"_Yes, Jonas, yes…"_

_Oh my God! He thought… he didn't need to hear anymore, he couldn't believe she had the nerve to do it in their bed, in his house… his blood boiled, not because he loved her, actually he didn't anymore, but because in spite of her more than obvious behavior and all his suspicions, deep down he'd wished they didn't turn out to be true, he had been in denial and his ego took a major blow as a result. It didn't help either, when he realized, at that moment, that all the effort he had put to keep himself from cheating on her with Olivia, had been useless. In two strides, he opened the door to the bedroom, slamming it against the other wall and found his wife naked, on top of the new doctor she worked with, so focused on each other that they didn't even stopped or caught sight of Elliot standing at the doorway._

"_Kathy!" he shouted, the vein in his neck about to explode._

"_Oh my God, Elliot! Didn't you tell me you were working late tonight?" only then, she stilled her movements._

"_So you turned this house into a motel?" he said sarcastically. He swallowed hard, grabbed her clothes from the floor and threw them at her. Kathy, terribly embarrassed, got off of Kosakov and started getting dressed._

_Elliot pulled the guy along with the sheet and his clothes, and dragged him downstairs to show him the exit. "Get out! Now!"_

"_Slow down, dude, you won't even let me get dressed?" said the doctor._

"_DUDE, you're lucky I'm not beating the shit out of you right now! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" He opened the door, shoved him out and slammed the door shut without a second glance._

_When he turned around, he found himself face to face with Kathy. He lowered his gaze immediately; he couldn't stand to look at her right now. "Where's Eli?" he asked, stiffly_

"_He's at my sister's"_

_He took a deep breath to calm himself down and tried to raise his eyes to hers, but found out he couldn't. She started "Elliot, listen to me…" her voice almost pleading._

_And that's what it took for him to finally explode, in the only way Elliot Stabler could. "NOOOO! YOU LISTEN TO ME! AFTER ALL THIS YEARS I'VE LISTENED ENOUGH, I'VE PUT UP WITH ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT! All those unfounded accusations, all of your groundless jealousy fits, all the effort I put to make this work, to make this marriage work… and you went and threw it all away for some cheap sex? What are you, Kathy? What have you become after all these years?"_

_At this point, Kathy got angry, too. It was so obvious that he didn't love her anymore, she didn't understand why he was making such a scene "Oh! Spare me the self righteous sermon, Elliot! I'm actually doing both of us a favor! Come on!" she took the few steps between them, putting themselves face to face. "Look me in the eyes and swear to me, on your father's grave, that you've never wanted to cheat on me with that SLUT you had for a partner! Come on, do it!" she yelled._

"_YES, I WANTED TO! God knows I did, God knows I do! But I never did it, because you were my wife and I respected you. I'm a faithful man, Kathy, and I wasted YEARS on you!" he took a deep breath, and let it out quickly. He continued calmer "I'm out of here"_

"_What? What are you talking about?" Kathy stared dumbfound as he grabbed his coat and car keys._

"_I'm talking about this house, I'm talking about this marriage… it's over!" he went for the door._

"_But, Elliot, what about the kids?" she followed him and stood beside him, as he gripped the door handle_

"_Oh, please Kathy! The last time Maureen was here, she was begging me to finally make the decision and get divorced from her own mother, because we were embarrassing her and her boyfriend with our incessant arguing! It's over! Tomorrow, after work, I'll stop by so we can both sit and break the news to our children. I'm arranging a meeting with my lawyer, too, I want to get this over with as fast as possible. And I want joint custody. Good bye, Kathy"_

_Without waiting for her retort he turned on his heel and left, slamming the door shut. He drove for an hour arriving to Manhattan by three in the morning, and opened the door from the apartment he kept from the first time he had been separated from his wife. Tonight he needed to get some rest; he had a busy day tomorrow. But the day after that, he'd have to go shopping, to make this place his new home._

Elliot was startled from his thoughts by Chief Muldrew's voice "OK, Homicide. Let's see…" the Chief said as he read some of his notes "Well, the statistics look good, especially in the last month, what happened, Captain Donahue? I'm surprised"

"We have a new detective onboard our unit, Elliot Stabler from Manhattan SVU"

"Oh, yes! Detective Stabler and his former partner Benson have the highest rate of solved cases in the city of New York, it's good to know that that efficiency hasn't changed. Oh!" he exclaimed surprised when saw Elliot "He's here. What is he doing here, Donahue? I thought this meeting was for high ranked officers only"

"Actually, he's about to be one, Sir. He's going to be my replacement by the end of the month, when I retire" the captain said proudly.

"Oh! Congratulations, son, as I told Benson a few weeks ago, you deserve it!"

Elliot smiled as he remembered the day Olivia called and broke the news about her promotion. She had taken his car to get to Manhattan in time and she couldn't even wait to give it back to him to break him the news. He'd never been happier for her, she really deserved it. If anyone knew how hard she had worked for it during these years, it was him.

An hour went by, and Elliot found himself doing an inhuman effort to stay awake, to keep from nodding off. He was startled suddenly by his phone vibrating, and he found out he had an incoming message from Olivia. She was informing him about the new lead she had discovered from the Vincent case, she was about to check it out with McAllister.

_Mmmm… I don't like this…_ he didn't know why, but he had a bad feeling about this_. It's probably nothing_, he told himself, and asked her to be careful, as he always did now that he wasn't there to watch her back anymore.

When he got her answer, Donahue elbowed him gently and whispered to him "Turn that phone off, Stabler, the vibrating noise can still be heard in the silence and we don't want the Chiefs to start disliking you, do we?"

"OK" Elliot said, and put it in silent mode.

Three hours later, at noon, he finally left 1PP's building, eager to call Olivia and find out about the developments of the case, but when he pulled the phone from his pocket, he was surprised to find he had fifteen missed calls from Captain Cragen. He had been calling for an hour but, of course, Elliot never noticed it. The last incoming call had been ten minutes ago.

He felt himself filling with dread… he didn't want to jump to conclusions but there could only be one reason for his former captain's incessant calling. Coupled with that lead that Liv had to check out… _Oh, God, please no!_ he prayed as he tried reach Cragen on the phone, it went straight to voicemail. _Damn it!_ He tried again, again and again, and the same happened.

He run to his car, he was going to the address Olivia had sent him. Just as he was about to start the vehicle, his cell phone rang.

"Stabler!" he panted. His heart was pounding so hard he almost couldn't hear the voice on the other side of the line. He took a deep breath attempting to calm himself down.

"Elliot, it's Fin. Where are you, man? We've been tryin' to reach you for an hour!"

"I was in a meeting, Fin, at 1PP, couldn't answer the phone. What happened, man? I had fifteen missed calls from Cragen, is everything OK?" _Please, tell me I'm overreacting, tell me nothing happened…_

"No, Elliot. I wish I didn't have to tell you this… Olivia's been shot. You need to come to Mercy General, now! You're her medical proxy, they need you to sign a consent form so they can proceed with surgery…"

"Oh my God! No!" a sob escaped before he could try to control it, his eyes were filling with tears.

"Gotta go, El. They don't allow cell phones in here…"

"Wait! Tell me, how bad is it?" Elliot turned on the blinking light and siren, and sped toward the hospital.

"I'm sorry, man, the doctor was trying to stabilize her when Cragen talked to me, but I'll be honest… judging by the blood at the crime scene, it's bad, really bad… I gotta go, El, see you in a little while"

Elliot blinked his tears and forced himself to focus on traffic; he wouldn't be any good if he wrecked the car. But he couldn't force his mind to quit torturing him, he kept asking himself what would he do if he was forced to live without her… he couldn't even see a glimpse of that reality in his mind without breaking down… but it was a real possibility now.

_**A/N: Coming up next: Double chapter full of Elliot's emotional cocktail! He has a few words with McAllister, among other things... and he has a few words with someone else, too. ;) Please, review!**_


	12. Troubled Reactions

**A/N: I'm sorry! I know I promised a fast update but life got in the way. I know I promised a double chapter, too... that's a promise I'm not going to break but delay, is coming right after this one. While I was writing it, I realized it would be too long, so I had to split it in two... ****anyway, I hope you like it, please review and let me know what you think.**** Thanks! :D **

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 12 – Troubled Reactions**_

In less than twenty minutes, Elliot quickly breezed by Mercy General's entry, running toward the front desk.

He couldn't believe what was happening; he kept hoping that all of this was part of a big nightmare, one he couldn't wait to wake up from. He felt as if his mind and his body were two different entities, like they weren't connected anymore. He knew he needed to calm down; he had to be strong for her.

When he reached the front desk, there was nobody there. He stood there for a minute, waiting for someone to come and acknowledge him, until his patience wore thin…

"Excuse me!" he said loudly, trying to catch anyone's attention. "Is there anybody here?"

A girl got out from an office, quickly buttoning her shirt. A second later, a doctor came out from the same office, accommodating his clothes too. As the girl took her seat, the phone rang, and she picked it up before Elliot could say anything. She talked for a minute, and he realized that the conversation wasn't work related. "Excuse me, this is urgent…"

The receptionist lifted one finger, indicating him to be quiet and wait for her to end the call. And he lost it.

"Excuse me! I'm here for a friend whose life is in danger; she came through the ER an hour ago. I need to know if she's still there or not, I need to know where to go!"

Still, the girl wasn't paying attention to him, so this time, he drove his fist down on the desk and yelled.

"Could you please end that stupid call and do your damn job? I need to know where Olivia Benson is!"

She put the tube down against her chest and asked "Sir, can't you wait for your turn?" she was clearly annoyed.

"NO! Because, as I was saying, my friend was brought here about an hour ago, and she could be dying! I need to know where she is and how…" he was interrupted by a nurse that walked by at that moment.

"Detective Stabler?" the woman recognized him from several times they'd come into the hospital to talk to some victim of sexual assault.

"Jenny, thank God! Please, tell me something. Liv's been shot and I need to be here for her… actually I have to talk to her doctor, too, I'm her emergency contact and medical proxy… in case he needs me to sign anything" he almost couldn't speak because of the tight knot in his throat, but he refused to break down just yet.

"Wow, calm down, Detective. She's still in the ER, I was on my way there, do you want to come with me?"

"OK." He said, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart. He wanted to be there, he _needed_ to be there for her, to see Olivia, but he didn't want to face the truth. He didn't want to realize this was really happening, that his biggest fear since he left SVU, hadn't been unfounded, in fact it had turned out to be real.

They walked in silence, at a slow pace. Jenny could tell that Elliot was trying not to break down, so she didn't even try to make conversation. A few minutes later, it was him who couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Did you see her when she was brought in?" he whispered, his voice so low she thought, at first, that it was her imagination talking, but when she shifted her eyes to him, she noticed he was waiting for her answer.

"Yes" she hesitated to continue, not wanting to describe the horrible sight she had encountered an hour and a half ago. But he nodded, silently telling her to go on, that it was OK, he needed to know. "She looked so pale, at first I didn't recognize her, but as soon as she came in, her vital signs dropped terribly and she went into cardiac arrest, she crushed… that's when I heard Dr. Peterson say her full name and I realized it was her. I was surprised that you weren't here with her, Detective" she paused for a moment and looked at him again before continuing.

"Anyway, we all worked hard to bring her back, even though her chances were low… you see, she had lost a lot of blood already, but she's such a strong woman, she came back with a rather good heartbeat considering her injuries… that's when I checked her medical history and I told your Captain to call you right away"

At this point, they stopped before entering the waiting room. Elliot sighed, and leaned sideways against the wall while he finished his conversation with her, as if it were the only thing keeping him on his feet.

"So what happens next? I mean what is the extent of the damage? I was told she was shot and I don't even know where… Oh, God!" he said desperately as he ran a hand down his face, a gesture he always did when he was deeply worried.

"I'm sorry, sir. Those are questions for her doctor, and I don't know when he'll be able to tell you anything. Last time I checked, they were still trying to stabilize her, so she could have a chance to make it through surgery, she must be receiving blood transfusions at the moment…"

He really didn't want to ask, but he blurted out the question, anyway. "What are her chances, Jenny?"

The nurse almost trembled under his unwavering stare, his blue eyes were red, filled with tears, but she tried to dodge the question nevertheless. "It's not really my place to say…"

"Please, Jenny! I know that you nurses, because of your profession, sometimes have more knowledge about medicine than doctors themselves! I'm asking you because I trust you, please, I promise this conversation never happened…" he pleaded her with his eyes.

"The doctor will give you a full report about her condition… I'll just say, as much as it pains me to tell you this…" she sighed and took a deep breath to give him bad news "her chances aren't good, Detective. Even if she makes it through the next three hours, she has several organs compromised"

She watched as his face contorted trying not to cry, but despite his efforts, several tears escaped through his eyelids. Elliot let out a sob and tried to pull himself together quickly, clearly failing. He wiped his moistened cheeks and tried to talk, but found out he couldn't. He took a deep breath as she said "I'm sorry, sir. I always could tell, even from your short visits, that you care deeply for this woman. I hope she'll be OK" she patted his shoulder timidly trying to comfort him at that awful moment, knowing it did little to ease his pain.

"I must go, Detective. Go on to the waiting room, as soon as Dr. Peterson has news about Olivia, he'll come outside to let you know" and with that she turned down the hall, disappearing behind the 'Authorized personell only' labeled doors.

Elliot looked toward the waiting room, and recognized quickly Cragen's bald head standing next to Fin. It didn't even cross over his head the fact that this was the first time he ran into them since the day he left the unit, months ago. He needed to know what had happened to Olivia, and he needed to know right then, so he started his short path toward them. He searched the whole room with his eyes, wondering if McAllister was there, but he wasn't. He didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. As he approached one of his best friends and his former Captain, he caught their attention from the distance.

"Fin! Captain!"

Fin turned around and poked the Captain to get his attention "There he is" he told Cragen.

"Elliot, son, I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. I'm sorry." The Captain didn't even know how or where to start explaining what had happened to one of his favorites detectives, she was almost like a daughter to him. He was sick with worry for her.

Elliot needed to get right to the point and some of his impatience came out as he demanded "Somebody please explain to me what happened to Liv, I need to know right now!"

This time, it was Fin who started "Man, you're not gonna like it… it all started this morning, when she went with McAllister to check out a lead to Vincent's possible hideout, she found out about it using those computer skills of her" he said with a small smile.

"I know that, she texted me the address while she was on her way there… what happened when they got there?" Elliot asked, hurrying Fin's story up.

"Well, it was a huge house, El, and it looked like it was abandoned. They decided not to call for back up, till they could tell for sure if it was, in fact, Vincent's hiding place…" he was interrupted by his friend's outraged outburst.

"That's suicidal, Fin! Olivia would never do something as negligent as that, she wouldn't make a mistake like that; I've watched her back and she's watched mine for almost thirteen years until a few months ago! She's too professional to commit an oversight on something so basic!"

"Elliot, we haven't been able to talk to her, so until we do, we won't know where that decision came from… OK, so she and Dwayne searched the house for a while, alone. After a few minutes, she texted me requesting for back up. According to McAllister, they had heard some weird noises and that's when they decided to call. They kept investigating until they reached what seemed to be the living room and that's when they spotted, in the center, a young girl tied to a chair, gagged and unconscious. Liv tried to free her while Dwayne watched out for Vincent. But after a while they heard footsteps and he distanced himself a little from her to check them out. The next thing he knew: everything went dark. Vincent knocked him out from behind"

"He left her totally vulnerable! Is he out of his mind? I'm gonna kill'im!"

This time, it was Cragen who spoke up "Calm down, Elliot! The guy is already beating himself up over it hard enough, he feels like shit!"

"And he should! Why are you defending him, Don? He had only one job: to protect her back. And he failed! His 'little' mistake could cost her life!" he was shouting, the vein in his neck about to explode. "Where is he? I want to beat the shit out of him!"

He started walking around the waiting room like a caged lion. Cragen and Fin shared a look of alarm, raising their eyebrows and biting their lower lips. "He is not here, Elliot!" the captain said firmly, stopping the other detective by grabbing both of his arms. Once he felt Elliot relax a little, he continued in a kinder way "Do you want to know what happened or not?"

"Yes" Elliot sighed defeated. Cragen nodded at Fin so he could continue his story.

"Apparently, Liv picked the girl up by herself and ran, trying to, at least, save the victim's life no matter what. Even if she couldn't make it out of there alive herself. Her back was totally exposed to Vincent's attack and he had a gun. He shot her, El, at least three times. He thought she was dead, when McAllister, who had just recovered consciousness, shot him twice, as the unis made their way into the house. I arrived then… it was terrible, man. All that blood…" he sighed, trembling as a chill ran down his spine "I was so relieved when I found her pulse... The ambulance brought her here immediately"

"Oh, my God! Has anyone told you anything about her? A nurse told me they were trying to stabilize her enough for surgery… did any of those shots go through and through?"

"None of them, the bullets are still inside her body. That's all we know so far and they only told me because one of the paramedics knows me"

Elliot finally sat on a chair, followed by Fin and Cragen. They waited for an hour, and there weren't any news about her yet. They already knew it would take a while, but they couldn't help feeling anxious. Munch joined them a little later and they waited for another sixty minutes.

Elliot was fighting exhaustion when he heard some footsteps disturbing the stillness of the room, when he looked up, his blood boiled. There stood the man who was, in his mind, responsible for the most life-threatening challenge Olivia had ever had to face. Dwayne McAllister.

Before he knew what he was doing, his hand went around the other guy's neck and slammed him against the wall; Elliot was out of his mind.

"You son of a bitch! I'm gonna kill you!" he lifted the other detective up by his throat.

"Sta-Stabler, I-I…" McAllister gasped. He couldn't speak for both the lack of air and fear. He was scared to death and choking.

"Elliot, stop! Let him go!" Cragen was trying to separate them, but Elliot was a strong man. Add to that he was furious; there was no way to stop him.

"Leave me alone!" he yelled to the Captain and then turned his attention to McAllister "How could you do that? How could you leave her totally unprotected?"

McAllister looked past his own fear into Elliot's eyes and he saw that behind his habitual alpha-male attitude, and all the rage the guy felt at the moment, he couldn't quite hide the deep anguish he was feeling. She was more than a friend, more than a simple crush to him: Elliot was a man in love. In love with a woman that was walking a very thin line between life and death at that moment. And Dwayne felt even guiltier than before. He felt a similar feeling whenever he had to notify a family the death of a beloved member. _I'm a failure…_

He didn't know why but he almost felt like he had failed Elliot. It didn't make sense! He didn't even like the guy; in fact, he had always considered him competition. But at this point, whether Olivia made it or not, he already knew things were never going to be the same. He'd screwed up big time.

"Stabler…" he struggled to communicate with the other man "I'm sorry, I know I made a huge mistake…" he gasped when Elliot tightened his grip a little.

"Elliot, let him go! You're gonna kill him! Seriously, ya want me to arrest you, man? Please, don't make me do that…" This time it was Fin who tried to get through him, but to no avail. They were trying to separate him physically, but two men weren't enough to calm him down.

"You're sorry? You're sorry? I don't give a shit about how guilty you feel, I've watched her back for years and nothing like this ever happened. She's never been shot, actually. Your apology won't bring her back to me if something happens to her… if she… if she…!" this time, Elliot's voice broke, he couldn't even bring himself to say it.

"Doesn't survive." Cragen finished for him. "Elliot, please…" the captain was about to make another attempt to calm him down when he was interrupted by McAllister.

"Please, Stabler…" he coughed "I don't know what to say... other than I'm sorry, there are no words to describe what I feel at this moment…"

Elliot tightened his grip even more and in seconds, Fin and Cragen noticed the other detective turning blue. Elliot wasn't kidding, he really was going to kill him if they didn't act fast.

"Elliot," Fin whispered in his ear, in the most soothing voice he could manage "Olivia needs you by her side… if you choke this idiot to death, we'd have to arrest you…" he paused for a moment to check if his words were having the desired effect so far "Do you really think this is the best for her? For you to be in jail instead of staying by her side, no matter what… making her aware that if she doesn't try to make it for herself, she has to find strength to make it for the people who love her? She doesn't deserve this, Elliot… please, don't do anything stupid"

It worked, Fin didn't know how, but it worked. Elliot let the other detective go and quickly turned on his heel before he changed his mind and tried to charge at the guy again. Fin took the opportunity to pull his arm and lead him to the waiting room exit. Elliot looked up at him, confused.

"I'm buying you a coffee, come on!" Fin explained.

Cragen and McAllister were the only people left alone in the room. The shocked detective's pants the only noise disturbing the false stillness of the room.


	13. Uncertainty

_**A/N: OK, guys, here's the double chapter. I've got to say that I'm a little sad for the lack of reviews I got last time. I know sometimes you might feel that this story's development is too slow, but I'm only doing it that way because I don't want to leave any parts out. I'm doing my best to write it kind of like in real time, like an episode. I still have a lot of events left for Elliot and Olivia to deal with. If my laptop hadn't broken I would be around Chapter 20 at least, you wouldn't believe how pissed off I am about that, and the fact that I haven't been able to fix it yet, because Customs, in my country, is delaying the delivery of my new screen.**_

_**Anyway, about this chapter... Elliot admits a few things... there are a thousand ways to say 'I love you'**_

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 13 – Uncertainty**_

Fin practically dragged Elliot to a coffee shop situated a block away from the hospital. They spent a few minutes in an awkward silence until the waitress took their order, only to submerge themselves in their own thoughts again when she left. None of them could quite grasp what was happening. Even in their line of work, neither of them had ever thought they'd face the possible death of one of their own. Let alone the one person everyone considered as the 'heart of the team'.

Fin thought of her as the sister he never had. She was the most selfless person he had ever met, a quality barely found in people these days. Her expertise and personality made him admire her, and her kindness made him love her, she was one of his best friends. And he really didn't have many of those since he wasn't the friendliest guy around; add to that the fact that the job didn't exactly allow them a lot of spare time. That's how the oldest members of Manhattan SVU became as close as family. They were each other's true family. They were there for each other for better or worse, in sickness and health and through good and bad times.

He finally raised his gaze from his hands and took a minute to study the man sitting in front of him. Elliot had been one of the most representative men in the unit, until the job he loved so much finally killed a part of him he'd never get back, so he decided to step aside. Before Fin joined the unit, people would warn him 'Some say you never leave that unit unharmed'… Elliot Stabler proved that phrase right. Even the strongest guys got wounded, either physically or emotionally.

On the other hand, his friendship with this man had had its moments. He had even asked Cragen to transfer him after a fight they had. But the Captain never bothered to get the papers to his superiors, so it never went through. After a while, and with Olivia's help, they started to trust each other again, and now, a few months after Elliot's departure, they were still friends.

Fin knew that if Olivia's situation was hard to deal with for him, he couldn't even imagine what Elliot was going through. He had been her partner for over a decade, and Fin knew for a fact they were best friends. Their relationship was the closest one in the whole unit; people would think they shared a mind, actually. And even though Stabler had a family of his own he always found time for her, to help her or do something together, because deep in his mind, he knew he was all she had. She had become a part of him, of his soul, and now that she was facing the hardest challenge of her life, he was shattered. Fin knew this man was doing everything in his power not to break down... and suddenly, he couldn't take the silence anymore. Both of them needed a distraction from their thoughts, even if he knew the conversation would lead them to the same subject.

"Man, talk to me. I know you have somethin' you need to get off of your chest, I'm here to listen"

Elliot startled out of his thoughts, blinked his eyes and finally lifted his gaze to Fin. "I can't believe this is happening, I don't want to. Since your phone call, I've kept hoping to wake up from this nightmare…"

He took a deep breath and tried to continue, despite the knot in his throat "What if I lose her, Fin? What am I gonna do? How do I go on?"

"Elliot, I understand. I feel the same! I can't imagine entering the precinct every morning without hearing her voice ever again, or to not share a few drinks with her after a particularly bad day, she's like a sister to me!"

"You don't understand, Fin…" Elliot's blue orbs filled with tears as he admitted with a seriousness that scared his companion "I can't go on without her".

This time, when Elliot focused his eyes on Fin's, he realized that these feelings, the ones breaking through Stabler's thick façade, meant more, were much deeper than the type of love one could feel for a friend. And he had seen the same love reflected in Olivia's eyes countless times, each moment she talked about Elliot, each time she thought about him and whenever she held a conversation with him, even though she tried to hide it.

"Man, you can't be serious. What do you mean by that? What about your family?"

"My family?" Elliot replied, with a bitter laugh. "My family is a mess right now… you have no idea…"

"So tell me about it. We've got time, and you obviously need to bent…"

Elliot made up his mind; he really could use a friend right now. So he started talking.

"OK, I'll give you the short version. Last night, I went home after a really bad day, only to find my wife in bed with another man!"

"Wow! Never saw that coming… What did ya do?" Fin was stunned.

"I threw the guy out of my house… It didn't really surprise me, Fin, I had had my suspicions about her infidelity for a while. I did flip out at Kathy, though; she made me realize all the time I'd been wasting …" he finished that sentence vaguely, still reluctant to pour all of his feelings yet. "We argued for hours, and we finally agreed to file for a divorce, there's no turning back now. And I don't have feelings for her anymore. Actually, I was on my way to my attorney's office when you called me to let me know about Liv" Elliot looked away, not wanting to show vulnerability in front of his colleague.

"Man, I'm sorry, you and Kathy have been together forever, how are you holding up?"

"Fin, to tell you the truth, my divorce is the last thing on my mind right now… I just wanna talk to Liv again, see her alive and healthy, as always."

Fin paused for a minute, trying to voice his next question, redirecting the conversation toward the divorce to find out what he really wanted to know.

"You said Kathy made you realize all the time you've been wasting… what did you mean?"

Elliot lowered his gaze again, this time trying to find the courage to voice his feelings for Olivia for the first time, to admit them out loud in front of one of his closest friends.

"I…" he was interrupted by the waitress, who'd come back with the order. He felt relieved for a few seconds, as he drank the first sips of his coffee, but that sensation wouldn't last long, Fin wouldn't drop the matter so easily.

"So? You were saying… all the time you wasted…"

Elliot sighed, he kind of wanted to say it, but it scared him even more considering her situation at the moment.

"I'm in love with someone else, Fin. I've been for a long time, but I realized it only recently… and I've been faithful to Kathy since the night I met her, back when we were eighteen… only to find out she had no qualms throwing everything away the first chance she got"

For a while they sat silently, which made Elliot's thoughts drift to Olivia. He was worried, they should have had news by now. _She has to be OK, she has to…_

After swallowing the last of his coffee, Fin asked the next question. "So who's this girl you've been in love with? I have a feeling I know her…"

"You'll be shocked…" Elliot responded reluctantly, still torn about giving his secret away.

"I really don't think so, try me. I've seen the look in your eyes whenever you talk to her or about her… it's hard to miss. Even when ya think no one's looking.

"It's Liv."

"I knew it!"

"How come?"

"Only the two of you miss it. I'm about to say the corniest thing ever, but I think you two are made for each other"

"So now you understand when I tell you, if something happens to her… I don't know what I'd do. I can't live without her, Fin, I just – I can't!" Elliot said, full of despair.

"Man, I'm scared to death about what could happen to her in the next few hours, too! But we shouldn't forget she's one hell of a fighter. She's strong and you and I both know she won't give up" Fin tried to say with confidence.

"I hope you're right…" Elliot said sadly.

"I know I'm right! Although, I do think you should tell'er how ya feel or, at least, remind her she has a good reason to fight for…"

"I want to see her awake so badly… I was hoping she would wake before the surgery, and I could ask them to let me in to talk to her for a few minutes"

Just then, Fin's cell phone rang and they jumped almost a foot up from their chairs. "It's Cragen" he informed before answering with a gruff "Tutuola"

"Fin, the Doctor stopped by on his way to his rounds, and he told me that in a few minutes he'll give us a report about Liv's condition. Is Elliot still with you?"

"Yes, he is, Cap. Why are ya asking?" Fin said, frowning to Elliot in worry.

"Because he's listed as her next of kin and medical proxy! The doctor won't tell us anything unless El is there to receive whatever news he has to inform" Cragen said exasperated.

"Don't worry, Cap. We're on our way." Fin said as he waved to the waitress asking for the bill.

"I'm going to the men's room" Elliot mouthed to him in between, and left.

Suddenly, Fin remembered something. "Cap, Cap, are you still there?"

"Yes, Fin. What's up?"

"I think it would be wise if you sent McAllister home if he's still with you, we don't want him to set Elliot off again…"

"Don't worry, Fin, I already did it. Hurry up! The doctor should be here, soon".

By the time he paid, Elliot was already outside the bar, anxiously waiting for him. They looked at each other for a second and tried to prepare themselves for the worst as they started the way back to the hospital.

* * *

><p>When they arrived to the waiting room, the doctor was already waiting for them. Cragen caught sight of them and hurried to make introductions.<p>

"Doctor Peterson, this is Elliot Stabler, Olivia's best friend and emergency contact"

Elliot quickly shook the doctor's hand and asked "Doctor, what's wrong with Olivia?"

The man cleared his throat and started "Miss Benson's condition was pretty delicate when she came in, she actually crushed in the ER. But we managed to bring her back, she really is a fighter, Sir".

He paused for a moment to look at each man's expression and continued "It took a while but we finally stabilized her. Now, we are waiting for the OR to be ready, in twenty minutes, we'll be admitting her for surgery. She might be needing more blood transfusions, any of you is A positive and willing to donate?"

"I am" Elliot answered readily.

"OK, then, in a little while a nurse will call you to proceed with the extraction. Oh, and of course, I need you to sign this consent forms for her" the doctor said pulling a folder from behind his back.

Elliot took it and tried to read the text, but found out he couldn't focus, so he had to ask "This surgery, in which consists exactly? Please, explain it to me"

The doctor was about to answer an annoyed "the form explains it pretty clearly" until he saw Elliot's shaking hands and pale complexion, he looked as if he were about to pass out.

"Miss Benson sustained three bullet wounds. The bullets are still inside her body, so we're going to extract them, one by one. One is located inside her calf, that's the simplest of them. But the other two are more complicated: one barely missed her kidney but the other is inside her lung. That's the first we'll be taking out, to heal the pneumothorax. I'll be working with three other surgeons, great specialists." He took a deep breath and continue "Even though her condition has improved in the last two hours, you need to know the risks: she doesn't have too much blood left in her body, so there's a possibility for her to take a turn for the worse. I need you to understand that, Mr. Stabler, but we have to operate if we want her to have, at least, a slight chance to survive"

"Oh, my God! No!" Elliot said as he run a hand down his face to hide the few tears that had escaped his eyes. He took a moment to regroup, and signed the form. After that, he looked directly into the doctor's eyes and begged him with a broken voice "Please, save her"

"I´ll do my best, Sir. Oh! I almost forgot. She's in room number 333, if you want to see her before we take her. She's sedated but if you want to go in, only one person at a time is allowed. See you in a few minutes, Detective"

"Thanks, Doctor Peterson" The doctor shook Elliot's hand and left. Elliot took off to Olivia's room without even waiting to see if anyone was following him.

When he opened the door, he took a minute to watch her. She was hooked to several machines and she looked terribly pale, lifeless. She even needed one to help her breath… the awful sight almost made him sick. Elliot wanted to look away but couldn't bring himself to do it. This could very well be one of the last glimpses he'd have of her alive. _Stop that! _He scolded himself mentally, swallowing tears. _Don't even go there… _Fortunately, his thoughts were interrupted by a nurse standing beside Olivia's bed, who he hadn't caught sight of before.

"Good evening, Sir" Was the sun already setting? He hadn't realized the time had passed so fast. "I just finished checking Miss Benson's injuries and vitals, everything looks stable. I'll leave you two alone now".

Once he heard the door shut behind her, he walked the few steps left toward her bed. He pulled a chair from the corner of the room and placed it to her right, avoiding the IV connected to her arm. He sat, leaning forward on his knees, and very carefully took her hand in his caressing it with his thumb. He just held it for a few minutes in silence, praying to God to save her, because if she left, then she'd take his heart with her. And he would go numb, completely numb. Totally incomplete, since she was the other half of him. His blue eyes, full of anguish, never left her face, which was hidden behind an oxygen mask, his mind replaying like a crazy movie all the times they'd spent together. Good and bad, and they had made it through, always. _You'll get through this, Liv. I know you will._

He needed to say something, before his time was up. He checked his watch; he had five minutes before they took her. So he forced himself to talk through the knot in his throat and stomach.

"Hey, Liv. It's me, El." He felt kind of stupid, but continued anyway. "I don't have much time to tell you everything I want to say to you now… please, you have to be strong, I know you are, but I need you to be even stronger. All this time we´ve been apart made me realize, made me see even clearer than before how much you are a part of me. Without you, I'd be incomplete. I need you, Liv, I really need you!" his voice broke and he had to take a deep breath to pull himself together.

"Now that I have the chance to spend all the time we want together, I need to hear your laugh, see that beautiful smile and your bright eyes. All this time I've been wasting waiting… please don't leave me empty handed, please don't leave me here alone"

He brushed the tears that had escaped his eyes and very softly started to caress her face, tracing a pattern from her forehead, going down to her cheek, over and over again. Of course, he had never let go of her other hand. He sat there for a minute just watching her, until he heard a knock on the door.

"Yes?" he whispered, drained.

"Mister Stabler, in five minutes we'll be taking her to the OR. I warn you in advance because we are going to have to ask you to step back"

"Can I stay with Olivia until you leave with her?" he begged her with his eyes, and the nurse couldn't say no.

"Just until we come and get her, you have to be out of our way so we can take her quickly" She said and closed the door.

Elliot turned back to Olivia and decided to say the words that had been haunting him for years every time he thought of her "Please, Liv"

He took her hand, this time in both of his "I need you so much it hurts, I can't picture my life without you! You have to be OK, please be OK"

He found that he couldn't hold his sobs "I can't live without you! You are everything to me, my Liv, I need you like I need my next breath. Please heal, baby, and I promise I'll never leave your side! In my mind, you're my partner in every meaning of the word" He sniffled, and quickly dried his face.

_I wish she'd wake up… _he thought as he stood to leave the room, refusing to tear his gaze from her face. He took a deep breath as he placed the chair back to where it belonged, so the medical team wouldn't have any problems to take her fast.

"I need you, Liv, beside me, until MY last breath" he said from the door. _I love you, but I want you to be awake to hear it._

_What if she doesn't make it? You'll let her go without knowing? _His mind argued

_No! She'll be OK! She'll be perfectly fine when she hears it._

He opened the door, and was about to step outside of the room when he heard a very weak whisper.

"El"

He almost couldn't believe his ears. He turned around and was at her side instantly "Liv, are you awake?"

"Yes" she said hoarsely as she struggled to open her eyes. When she finally caught sight of his blue eyes, she took the mask off of her face and smiled the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen. Even in her condition, even though she was suffering an unbearable amount of pain at the moment.

His breath caught as he cupped her cheek with his trembling hand, tenderly, and he said "Hey, you should put that back on… can you breath?"

"Hey, El" she ignored the question and smiled even wider. "I missed you" she closed her eyes for a moment, reveling in the unusual gesture of affection she was receiving from her former partner. Then she opened her eyes again. "What happened?" she asked as she took in his apprehensive expression.

"You got shot, Liv, three times, when you went to Vincent's house." He paused for a moment to watch how she was taking the news "The bullets are still inside your body, so the doctors are about to come and take you to the OR, they have to perform a surgery"

She tried to take a deep breath, but Elliot noticed it was becoming difficult for her, so he quickly placed her mask back on. "Easy, you need to save your strength".

"At least, now I know why I'm in so much pain" she said ruefully and he chuckled despite the horrible situation. _Always the same Liv…_

Then he saw her struggling to keep her eyes open and failing. "You're tired. You need to rest…"

" Mmhm" she barely nodded. Then she opened her eyes, in a surge of strength, locking them against his blue orbs.

"Thank you, El, for everything. For being my partner, my protector, my friend, the one person I cared about the most in this, otherwise, lonely life. I'm so lucky to have you, I've been so lucky to meet you" her gaze full of love, and tenderness. His knees buckled and he had to sit down. She continued.

"I just needed you to know that, you're everything to me. The only one that's never left my side". She was fading as she spoke, and he was scared to death. That sounded awfully like a goodbye.

"Liv? Liv! What are you talking about? Don't you dare say goodbye, Benson. Please, Liv! Listen to me, listen to me, I'll see you in the morning and you'll be OK, I know you will! You're everything to me, Liv! You'll wake up tomorrow to find me, as always, sitting next to you".

"Liv" he shook her a little and she opened her eyes again "Liv, promise me you'll fight, baby, that you won't give up… promise me you won't leave me, Olivia"

His begging eyes were full of tears he wouldn't allow himself to let fall. Her chocolate eyes, tired but full of love, slowly closed as she shook her head, leaving Elliot to wonder, as several doctors and nurses came in to take her, if she'd meant by her gesture "No, I promise I won't leave you" or "No, I can't promise you that". The uncertainty was killing him… but there was nothing left to do, except to wait.

_**A/N: Please, review!**_


	14. The endless waiting's end

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 14 – The endless waiting's end**_

Twelve hours. Twelve endless hours spent pacing, biting his nails until it hurt, not being able to even try to get water into his body, let alone food into his stomach. The back of his neck was aching terribly, he felt funny and his massive headache wouldn't give him a break. Needless to say, Elliot was feeling pretty bad.

After another round of pacing, he sat down beside Donald Cragen, who had nodded off half an hour ago. The loud thud Elliot made by sitting startled the Captain awake and he raised his head self-consciously, rubbing his eyes. After blinking a few times, he focused his gaze on Elliot and noticed his red-colored cheeks. Given the situation they were facing, it wouldn't surprise him if the other man's blood pressure was over the clouds.

"Elliot, are you OK?" he asked cautiously.

"Are you really asking me that?" Elliot countered irritated, outraged about what he considered a dumb question.

"I'm not asking about your emotions, El. I meant physically, your face is flushed, does your head hurt?"

As reluctant as Elliot was to show any weakness in front of his ex-colleagues, he knew that if he indeed was suffering hypertension, as he suspected, he would need to take something to get his blood pressure down, since it could be life threatening.

"A little." he was lying, his head was pounding furiously.

"Get checked out, now!" the Captain ordered gently. As if on cue, a nurse chose that moment to walk across the waiting room. Knowing Elliot was too proud to take care of himself in a moment like his, Cragen called her.

"Excuse me, nurse! Could you check this man's blood pressure? He's under a lot of stress right now and he is not feeling well…"

"I'll be right back with the tensiometer" she answered kindly.

"Don…" as expected, Elliot immediately attempted to protest.

"Shut up, Elliot. The last thing we need right now is you having a stroke! It´s the last thing Olivia needs!" Cragen interrupted, trying to knock some sense into him.

A minute later, the nurse was back, inflating the pressure cuff. Once she was done, she reported "BP's high: 170 over 90. You should go to the Clinic's desk and request to be checked out by a doctor so they can prescribe a medication to drop it. I don't mean to scare you but this levels could be dangerous, Sir"

This time, it was Fin who spoke up firmly "You heard her. Come on, I'll go with you".

"But I don't wanna leave Liv…" Elliot protested weakly, and Cragen flipped, his patience wearing thin.

"You could be leaving her for good if you don't go!" the Captain yelled.

"OK." Elliot said resigned. "But you call me the minute you have news about her, Don!"

"Count on it, son!" he said as he watched them go with a new worry.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, after forcing a croissant down his throat and a pill that could have put down a horse, Elliot was so exhausted that he almost couldn't keep his eyes open. He was jolted out of his lethargic state by a loud voice that disturbed the silence of the waiting room.<p>

"Family of Olivia Benson?" it was another doctor, not Peterson. Elliot was up in a heartbeat.

"That's us, Doctor. How is she?" he asked, holding his breath.

"The surgery was a success, Detective."

"Thank God!" Elliot said, letting out his breath.

The doctor cleared his throat, and continued "At the moment, she's being moved to the room 333 in ICU. We'll be watching her recovery in that unit for, at least, three days. After that we should be able to move her to a regular room."

"I understand… and now, what's next?"

"Her recovery will be a long one, Mr. Stabler, she has endured multiple injuries. She could stay in this hospital for four weeks, given the quantity and severity of the wounds, but it really depends on how she heals. Each person is different. Besides, I know she lives by herself… after we release her, she'll probably need some help at home, do you think anyone could stay with her?"

"Of course, I'll stay with her"

"OK. Do you have any other questions?"

"No, I just wanna see her."

"OK, then. Remember, she'll probably be out for a few hours, until the anesthesia wears out. I'll be back in her room in two to check on her". He said shaking Elliot's hand.

"Thank you for saving her" Elliot said grateful. The doctor nodded and left.

As the last time, Elliot bolted to Olivia's room. Fin, Munch and Cragen followed slowly, knowing he needed a moment alone with her.

When Elliot entered her room and heard the beeping monitor signaling her strong heartbeat, he sent a huge thank you to The Man Upstairs. _Thank you, Lord! Thank you for allowing me to keep her. I'll be forever grateful to you. _He felt a sense of déjà vu as he took the chair and sat down again, holding her hand, waiting for her to wake up.

He didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he felt a soft squeeze in his hand. He blinked his eyes open and massaged the back of his neck briefly; he was sore after sleeping in a bad position. He looked at Olivia, but she was still unconscious, so he concluded he must have imagined her squeezing his hand.

He stretched and shifted to a more comfortable position, now fully awake. He took her hand again, and started rubbing circles on it with his thumb. He looked at her angelic face, so relaxed, so still, and for a moment he chose to ignore the circumstances that had put her in this position. This tough trial life had thrown at her. For a minute, he was just looking at his sleeping partner's face like he had found himself doing more times through the years than he'd dare to admit, and he thought for the thousandth time about how beautiful she was, inside out. How in love he was with this woman, and how he couldn't wait to tell her… and how panicked he was about the prospect of it all.

He wanted to tell her, but he was scared to death at the possibility of rejection. He knew Olivia loved him, but as a friend. He wasn't so sure about the other kind of love, the one he'd come to realize from the moment they were apart.

A day ago, he was berating himself for not confessing his feelings to her when he had had the chance, thinking she was going to die. In that moment, he promised himself he would tell her the minute she was awake… but now he wasn't so sure. _Oh, God… stop it! Focus on her recovery! Now is not the time to get all sentimental…_

But maybe now, that she was submerged in a heavily medicated slumber, he could take a chance and, at least, get those words off of his chest, even if she couldn't hear them at the moment. They were a huge baggage to carry… _I love you, Liv._ He thought.

"I love you, Liv" he mouthed.

"I love you, Liv" he whispered

"I love you, Olivia" his voice rang in the otherwise calm room, and he couldn't believe it was him the guy who had pronounced those words.

He paled and started to hyperventilate when he realized the seriousness of what had just happened. He had admitted it, in front of her, it didn't really matter that she was asleep. _Wait! Is she still asleep?_

In a rush of fear, he lifted his gaze toward her face again… and she was still asleep. _Oh, God… I must be losing my mind… but I can't lose her if she doesn't feel the same for me…_

He sat for another two hours, not even allowing himself to move a muscle, until the doctor came to check on her. After the surgeon left, he took his place again, by her side. A place he felt he belonged with.

Half an hour later, the squeeze was real. It was firm, strong considering the fact that she had just gotten out of a very complicated surgery. Elliot's heart was pounding so loud he thought it was going to burst right out of his chest. He took her hand in both of his and waited until she blinked her eyes open.

"Hey, El." She whispered and she flashed him a huge smile, which made his heart soar.

"Hey, Liv" He gazed at her lovingly and her eyes almost filled with tears at the wave of affection flowing from that one look. As he rubbed circles on her hand with his thumb, he said "You're OK…"and stared at her for a few moments, until he snapped himself out of it "I mean, considering…"

"I know what you meant." She answered, her gaze so intense that he thought she could see through his eyes to his soul.

"I promised you I wouldn't leave you, remember?" She continued, and for a moment he didn't catch what she'd meant. Then, it all came back to him, they were in the same room, after Olivia had given him a speech that awfully resembled a goodbye and he freaked out… he was frozen.

"… Can't get rid of me that easily, Stabler, huh?" She attempted to joke, trying to loosen up the deep atmosphere created by that look.

When he didn't answer, she forced herself to lower her eyes. If she didn't do it, she'd find herself coming clean about some feelings she didn't want to pour, at least, not yet.

"Are you in pain? Do you need me to call the nurse?"

"For now, I'm OK. I think my body is still kind of numb, but I won't risk moving any part to test for pain" she winked at him, and he melted inside.

"Liv, I need to ask you something and I need you to tell me the truth… McAllister left you alone, didn't he? That's why you got shot, isn't it?" He asked, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Elliot, it doesn't matter now, we're all OK, aren't we? I mean the girl is safe, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is, Liv. And by denying it, you just confirmed my suspicions, that son of a bitch is going down…!"

"Stop it, El!" She interrupted, her weakened state betraying the authority she'd wanted to inflict in that statement. "I don't want you to go beat him up, I need you with me. It was an honest mistake, everyone makes them…"

"Liv…" he protested but to no avail.

"Drop it!" She said, and she thought it was a good time to change the subject. "So… tell me, how are the kids?"

That's when he remembered that in the afternoon he'd have to go to his soon-to-be former house in Queens, to sit beside his also soon-to-be ex-wife and explain to his sons and daughters they would no longer be married. He frowned at that and at the prospect of leaving Olivia alone, even if it was for a few hours.

She noticed his frown and started to worry "El, is everything OK with them?"

"Yes, they're OK. Um-huh… I have to tell you something… with everything that's happened, I didn't have the chance to… Kathy and I… we're getting a divorce"

"What?" She gasped, it was too good to be true. "Are you serious? Why?"

"She's been cheating on me for months, Liv. Besides, I don't love her anymore…" he caught himself before blurting something he didn't want to "It was only a matter of time… I was on my way to my lawyer's when Fin called me about the shooting…"

"Elliot, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say… how are the kids taking it?"

"They don't know yet… I have to go back to Queens for a few hours in the afternoon, Kathy and I decided to tell them today"

"I'm sorry, El. Well you know, if you need me, I'm here. I wouldn't be able to move even if I wanted to…" she joked timidly, trying to cheer him up.

He gave her an appreciative smile and said "And you've got me, too. You're gonna be needing me a lot for the next few weeks, so you're stuck with me!"

"What's the difference? I've always been!" she laughed and quickly grabbed her side as it hurt. "Ow! There goes my painless post op…"

"Easy, Liv!" he scolded. And they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Elliot, can I come in?" it was Cragen.

Elliot opened the door and the Captain came in, Fin and Munch sneaking in behind him, almost squatting. If it wouldn't hurt so much, Olivia would have laughed.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

"Hospital policy. They won't allow more than one person in the ICU rooms, the assholes…" Fin complained.

The five of them spent a few minutes happily chatting, reveling in the relief they felt knowing Olivia was safe and sound. It felt a lot like old times, times they missed since Elliot had left.

Liv was enjoying the get together so much, that she didn't want to give in to exhaustion. She thought she had covered the yawn quite successfully in front of everyone until she felt Elliot's eyes on her, and she knew what came next.

"OK, guys, our patient here needs to get some rest, so…" he didn't want to throw them out, he had been quite enjoying the little reunion, too, but Olivia needed her sleep in order to heal.

The guys bid their farewells and left. Elliot closed the door and turned to Olivia, his thumb on his chin, thinking for a moment. Then, he turned to the room's closet and retrieved a blanket. He wrapped it around Olivia and took a chance to kiss her forehead tenderly. His lips remained there for a fraction of a second more than they should have if it had been just a friendly show of affection. As he leaned back to sit in his chair, he posed his hand on her shoulder, absentmindedly caressing her hair. For her, this was heaven.

"You know? Considering your stubborn personality, you're handling this pretty well…"

"Well, after all, it is true I can't move… Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to spend with my stubborn personality the moment I start feeling a little better. If I were you, I wouldn't let my guard down" she smiled at him and closed her eyes.

A minute later, he thought she was asleep but then he heard her voice "Thank you, El. For sticking with me"

"Oh, Liv. I should thank you… now, sleep" he said as he ran a finger from her forehead down her nose.

She drifted off in seconds and it didn't take long for Elliot to follow her, the temptation to take a nap overwhelming since the emotional turmoil from the last two days had drained him. And he would need all the energy possible to deal with the end of his marriage, which would formally start that night.

_**A/N: I hope you liked it! They're getting closer! :D. Coming up next: Someone unexpected visits Olivia at the hospital. Please, review!**_


	15. Affection

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 15 – Affection**_

After two painful days in the ICU, Olivia was moved to a less equipped room. Although the doctor had said she was healing surprisingly fast, she was in a lot of pain. It killed her every time she had to go to the bathroom or whenever she had to move. The first few days she was rather cooperative and she slept a lot, which helped her escape from the agony and at the same time, according to her doctor, accelerated her recovery considerably.

Elliot was a guardian angel. He'd hardly left her side for more than ten minutes, except that afternoon when he had to go to talk to his kids, that little errand took about five hours and he came back exhausted.

He really outshone himself doing little things to make her as comfortable as possible. Whenever her blanket fell, he wasted no time and tucked it around her again, he'd wet her lips when they were so dry that started to split and, when she started to spend more time awake, he went to her place and picked some of her novels up so she could read them.

After a week, he had to go back to work. Luckily, by that time, Olivia could more or less manage to spend a few hours by herself. That Monday, Cragen would stop by at lunch to check on her, so she wouldn't spend that many hours alone. Even though Elliot planned to be back by the evening, and tried to convince himself that she would be OK, he was still reluctant to leave her.

They woke up at six a.m.; he had to be in the precinct at seven. He moved quickly after using the bathroom, checking his pockets to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything and shrugging his coat on. He looked at her with blue eyes full of concern.

"Will you be OK by yourself? You know if you want me to stay I'll call Donahue and…" he started to ask that morning, only to be interrupted by Olivia.

"I'll be fine! I won't be alone that much time, El, Don will be here in a few hours and I'll just stay here reading one of my favorite books until he shows up." He tried to say something but she kept talking "And before you ask, if I need to go to the bathroom, I'll call the nurse so she can help me get up. Don't worry about me so much." She rolled her eyes at his protectiveness and smiled at him.

"I wanted to stop by with lunch, but my lawyer called me yesterday to rearrange the meeting from last week… I really need to get this over with, Liv."

"Why are you justifying yourself? I told you I'm fine, you go do what you have to do. Seriously, Elliot, I don't want to hold you down…" She said, not used to have someone who cared for her. There were moments when Elliot's actions were overwhelming.

"Olivia" he said sternly "you're not holding me down, I'm here because I want to be, there's nowhere else I'd rather be, actually. I'm going back to work because I need the job, but if I had it my way… I'd stay with you all the time."

She was speechless as his words sank in. During the last week, Elliot had been showing her more affection than in thirteen years of partnership. There were little things that he had been doing lately, like caressing her face, twirling her hair, holding her hand, kissing her forehead… adding to that the loving looks he gave her from time to time, made her wonder if something had changed since she had been shot. But then, she realized these little gestures came from before, as she remembered the night they reunited a few months after he left the unit, when they got together for dinner at her place. She shook herself out of her thoughts and returned her focus to him, she needed to say something.

"Thank you, El. For putting up with me, for everything… for saving my life. I know I have your blood in my veins, I wish I had found out from you rather than a doctor…" Her eyes filled with tears but she wouldn't let them fall.

He leaned over the bed and cupped her cheek with his hand, placing a kiss on the other one. Then he slid his hand to her shoulder as he stood up and said "You don't have to thank me, I know you would have done the same if it had been me in your place." He rubbed her shoulder for a moment and, after a little while he had to let go. "Take it easy, huh? Be careful" He reminded her.

"I will" she promised. And then she scoffed "I can't move anyway, so…"

He laughed and said from the door "I'll try to be back by seven, but it might take longer than that… if you need anything, call me. Bye, Liv."

"Bye, El. You be careful, too".

He smiled at her, nodded and left, leaving a huge void in the room. Olivia already missed him; she sighed and grabbed her book. _I better read or I'm gonna go crazy in here…_

And that's what she did until Cragen came to share a quick lunch only to leave early because of an emergency. After that, exhaustion took over and she drifted off with the intention to sleep until Elliot came back.

* * *

><p>She was jolted awake by a timid knock on her door. At first, she couldn't tell if the noise was part of her dream or reality, but when it repeated, she blinked her eyes, trying to wake up quickly. Who could be at this hour? It was four p.m., Elliot wasn't due to return until seven and it wasn't like she was expecting anyone else. She cleared her throat and called out "Yes?"<p>

"Liv, can we come in? It's Kathleen"

"Sure, Katie. Come in!"

If she was surprised to hear Elliot's second daughter's voice behind the door, it was nothing compared to what happened next when she opened it. It wasn't just Kathleen, or Kathleen and her boyfriend; it was the whole Stabler clan.

She watched them as they started to fill the room: first Maureen, the eldest… it had been quite a while since the last time she saw her, she had grown up into a beautiful woman. Kathleen, who since she started law school developed a great sense of responsibility, the days of her bipolar disorder and drug use were way behind her. Olivia smiled briefly as she remembered the conversation she had with Elliot's mother, Bernie, in that dinner near the beach when, in so many words, she convinced her to testify on behalf of her granddaughter. That day she had access to a side of her partner that he had never allow himself to show in front of anyone, he was deeply worried for his daughter. After all that, she was proud to now see Kathleen so healthy and mature and proud to know she had a hand in that.

After Kathleen, Elizabeth entered the room. She looked at Olivia for a moment and then lowered her gaze, her shyness dripping from every movement. They hadn't seen each other for years and she had grown quite a lot, becoming this young lady.

Then, her twin brother, Richard came in with little Eli in his arms. He looked almost uncomfortable standing in a corner, remembering the last time he saw Olivia, when she had to interrogate him. In that moment, it was clear that he wasn't little Dickie anymore, he was Richard and it was even clearer he had inherited his father's temper. He was quite disrespectful with Elliot's partner; he knew she hadn't slept with him. Now, with his parents divorcing and knowing that his father had been in love with Olivia for so long, it could happen.

Olivia was surprised that all of them came to visit her. It wouldn't have been uncommon for Kathleen to appear, but all of Elliot's children… and even more considering their parents had told them they were splitting up three days ago. She had always suspected Kathy was jealous of her, whenever they ran into each other, she was so uptight she couldn't even hide it. But she confirmed her suspicions the day she interrogated Richard, what he said was something he had heard at home. And now, the fact that all of them came, considering the situation they were going through, showed Olivia they didn't blame her and they accepted her in their father's life, ignoring their mother's accusations.

"Hey, guys! What a beautiful surprise!"

"Hey, Liv. We haven't seen you in a while and we thought now would be a good chance to catch up… I mean, you're not on call so we can talk all we want, right?" Kathleen said and winked at her.

Olivia laughed and had to grab her side because it still hurt. To say that she wasn't on call was an understatement, she couldn't even move. "Yes, you're right. And your father won't be returning until seven, so… How are you, guys? Let's update each other!"

"Me, first." Said Maureen "Things with Tommy are going really well and we're thinking about moving together to the new apartment his parents bought for him. It will be finished in six months, in February. I'm so excited!"

"Wow! Congratulations, Mo! You guys are pretty serious… does your father know?" Olivia asked with a knowing smile, considering Maureen would always be Elliot's little girl even though she was nearer thirty than twenty.

"Yes… at first, it was hard to deal with him. But he knows Tommy is a good guy, and he makes me happy, so Dad has no other choice but to accept him."

"That's great!" Olivia said and turned to Elliot's second child. "So, Katie, how have you been?"

"Law school is going great, my grades would impress you." She smiled at Olivia, and continued "I've been seeing someone for two months, I'm pretty excited! I've got a crush on him since freshman year. One day, we were paired together for a very difficult paper we had to do, and he finally noticed me! When we got the score, it was the best. After class I was grabbing my things when he approached me, looking all shy and nervous, and he asked me out! I couldn't believe it!"

"I'm really happy for you, Kathleen." Olivia said with a proud smile.

"I want to thank you, Liv. You pulled me out of the hole I fell in when I was a teenager, I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for you… you're more than an aunt, you're my friend, my confidant. I thank God he didn't take you away from us that horrible day. When dad told me what had happened to you, I was crushed. I was so afraid I couldn't see you again and tell you how much you mean to me, how much you've done for me. I love you, Liv!"

Olivia was near tears, she was deeply touched by Kathleen's words. She wasn't used to receive that much affection, and in the last week she had been receiving plenty of it, especially from Elliot. And now, his kids. He really made her life better, and that was a small part of what he meant to her. She hoped she could someday thank him properly for that.

She opened her arms, motioning to Kathleen to come over to her. The girl complied and they funded themselves in a tight hug. Olivia's tears finally leaked, and she said in a trembling voice "You don't know how much you mean to me, I love you, too."

Everyone in the room was trying to fight their emotions after that statement. "I know. You showed me, you saved me" Kathleen said, she was crying openly now.

Olivia saw that everyone was almost in tears, and thought maybe it was the result of everything they had been going through, life was changing for every kid in that room. So it was normal to be a little sensitive… Olivia concluded they all looked like they needed, at least, a hug.

"You know, guys, I love you. All of you! You know I don't have kids of my own, so you've been my very spoiled nieces and nephews for years. Come join this hug, and make it a group hug" She said smiling.

Maureen and Elizabeth were there in a second, hugging each other and wrapping their free arms around Kathleen and Olivia, as delicately as they could to avoid hurting her. Eli, who had been put down on the floor by his brother, ran to hug their sisters' legs.

Richard hesitated. He didn't know if Olivia had forgiven him after their little argument two years ago, he knew he had been an ass. "Olivia, I'm so so…" he was interrupted by her, who poked her head out of the sea of arms that surrounded her.

"Don't be, I'm not mad at you. I know you were angry and you're quite a lot like your father, who whenever he's angry, doesn't control what comes out of his big mouth. I'm used to deal with that temper. "She winked at him and continued "Come here, young man, when I said I loved you guys, I wasn't leaving you out"

Richard smiled and finally joined the group hug; they all stayed there for a while. After releasing each other, they continued with their conversation until five thirty and the Stablers had to go home, leaving Olivia alone with her thoughts.

After a complicated childhood with a mother who resented her, and dedicating her whole adulthood to her tough job, she hadn't had that many chances to love and be loved in return. In fact, she had said the 'L' word more times today than in her whole life.

But then, she realized that she had loved and had been loved in return… since the moment Elliot came into her life. At first, his protectiveness came with the job; he was supposed to watch her back. But through the years, they had become so important to each other, that they started watching each other's back outside work, too, when they became friends. And, in the process, he had made her part of his family, something she had never had.

With her mind swirling with thoughts about how she'd never be able to thank him enough, she gave into tiredness. He would wake her when he arrived.

**A/N: Coming up next... Olivia continues her recovery at home and talks to Fin (who has become some kind of counselor in this story, lol) about her feelings for Elliot. Besides, someone's about to be surprised. Please, review!**


	16. Those little jumbled thoughts

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 16 – Those little jumbled thoughts**_

After two weeks, the doctor finally discharged Olivia. It was a windy Friday morning when Elliot picked her up from the hospital and drove her home. She still needed help to walk and it still hurt like a bitch every time she moved, but the doctor said it would be this way for at least two more weeks.

Olivia was a pretty independent person, she didn't like to have anyone fuzzing over her and she definitely wasn't used to being pampered, so it was getting hard for her to accept the fact that she had become her ex-partner's only focus. Therefore, it wasn't long before the little arguments came.

One night, she was sitting on her couch watching TV while Elliot was taking a shower when she got up to get a glass of water. The sole movement of getting out from the couch had her in an unbearable pain, but she resisted it and started her short way to the kitchen. When she had to bend over a little to reach the bottle of water from the refrigerator, she gasped in pain and had to grab her back, she couldn't stand back straight.

It was in that position Elliot found her when he came around the corner into the kitchen doorway, dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt.

"Liv!" he exclaimed, alarmed. "What did you do?" He was at her side instantly, holding her steadily as she tried to straighten up.

"I'm fine, El!" she snapped as she slapped his hands away. "Just give me a minute to recover…"

"Olivia, are you out of your mind? The doctor was clear, you need to rest, no harsh movements, you need someone with you all the time for a couple of weeks, couldn't you stay still and wait for the short ten minute shower I took to ask me for a glass of water?" Elliot scolded her as he grabbed her, ignoring her obvious refusal.

"Stop it, Elliot! You're driving me nuts fuzzing all over me, it's overwhelming! Leave me alone for a fucking minute!" she knew he only meant well and he didn't deserve her outburst after all he had been doing for her, but she couldn't take it anymore.

Elliot understood what was going on right away; he knew her as the palm of his hand. So instead of letting himself be dragged into an argument, he responded with tenderness. He pulled her into a hug as he told her "Liv, I just don't want you to get hurt, you've been in so much pain already since this happened, I wish I could take it all away and it drives me insane the fact that I can't. I worry about you, you know?"

She raised her eyes to his and saw something she couldn't identify, she was afraid of it, so she lowered her gaze to the floor as she mumbled "You don't have to. I've never had anyone who cared about me in my whole life until you came along, why do you waste so much on me?"

His eyes widened, how could this amazing creature think so little of herself? That she couldn't or didn't deserve to be loved? If she only knew everything she made him feel with just one look… Elliot sighed and was about to answer her when his cell phone rang.

"Stabler" he answered without even checking his caller ID.

"Hey, Elliot! It's Don. How's the patient?"

"Stubborn, argumentative and reluctant to conduct herself carefully, a Benson at her highest level!" Elliot chuckled as he slowly walked Olivia back to the couch, lifting his shoulder to keep his phone against his ear.

"Oh, good! She must be feeling better, then"

Elliot groaned as he answered "Not yet, Don. It's going to take a while." He delicately deposited Olivia back on her couch and sat beside her, patting her thigh just above her knee.

"Well, tell her I hope she gets better soon. I wanted to check on her and deliver some news: you know Liv was supposed to take her new position this Monday?"

As soon as he heard the subject, Elliot got up from the couch and walked toward the kitchen pretending he needed something from there. "Yes, I know" he bit his lip for a second and asked "Please don't tell me they're gonna give the position to someone else…"

"They tried, son, but they couldn't. I'll be her replacement until she comes back. Tell her that, I think it'll make her feel good, I mean, I bet the thought ran through her mind at one point… it's one less thing to worry about"

"Yes, it is, Don. Thank you! Do you want to tell her yourself? Let me check if she's awake, she is exhausted all the time between the blood loss she suffered and her medicine" Elliot said as he walked back to the living room, only to find Olivia curled up at one end of the couch, hugging her pillow. She looked adorable; he couldn't bring himself to wake her.

"Sorry, Don, she's asleep."

"It's OK. Just let her know what I told you. I'll try to stop by this weekend while I can, next week is gonna be tough having two jobs at the same time"

"OK, Don. Thanks for calling. I gotta go." Elliot was about to shut his phone when he heard Don's voice shouting at him not to hung up. "What is it, Don?"

"Listen, El. Before you hang up, I wanted to tell you I'm glad to hear you're doing OK, too." He paused, feeling awkward after saying those kind words."Take care of , son." the Captain said before cutting the communication.

Elliot put his phone on the table, picked Olivia up as delicately as he could and carried her slowly to her bedroom. Once he tucked her into bed, he laid down beside her, at a respectful distance and started to caress her hair as he watched her sleep. That had become his new favorite pastime since the day one of her postoperatative period.

* * *

><p>Three weeks later, Olivia was feeling a whole lot better. Since she could manage to move around on her own without feeling like she was being stabbed all over her body, it wasn't necessary for Elliot to stay at her place anymore. She didn't want him to leave, her home would feel so empty without him… even if she was the worst patient ever at moments, even blurting some hurtful comments at times, she had loved having him there. She couldn't help but fear that this new openness they had found to display their affection toward each other would disappear if she stopped seeing him on a daily basis.<p>

But there was nothing she could do to avoid it. This week, he had to go back to his place and the next one; he'd take his new position as Captain. And two weeks after that, it would be her turn to take over her new job as Chief.

She couldn't help but feel that things were happening too fast for her to keep up and she didn't like it. By the end of the first week without Elliot, she was driving herself so nuts that she called Cragen to ask him to bring over some files from work, so she could keep herself busy.

After spending Friday morning, trying unsuccessfully to concentrate on the file in front of her, her cell phone rang and she jumped to pick it up, hoping it was Elliot calling her. But she was disappointed to find out it was Fin.

"Benson" she answered, with not so much enthusiasm.

"Hey, Liv. How are you doin'? I can tell not so happy, by the sound of your voice" Fin's voice was the contrast to Olivia's, he was excited about something.

"Sorry, I guess staying home is driving me out of my mind." She said with a sigh. "What's up, Fin?"

"I think I can fix that little problem of yours tonight, I'm getting you out of that apartment…" he said with a grin in his voice.

Olivia frowned "What are you talking about? The doctor told me I couldn't move for extended periods of times or walk more than two blocks. I can't go anywhere yet…" she said almost pouting.

"That's right, Liv. But you can walk the short distance to my awaiting car parked beside your building's sidewalk and after we park in front of our destination, I think you can take to walk across the street to the restaurant, where a chair will be waiting for you and it won't be necessary for you to move anymore after that, except maybe to the toilet…"

"OK, OK, I get your point." she interrupted him and said suspicious. "What are you up to, Tutuola?"

"You see, I wanted to organize a little dinner at that Italian restaurant we liked, celebrating Elliot's promotion… kind of a surprise party. So first we'll have a few drinks with the guys and some of his new colleagues from Queens, but he won't even suspect you'll show up, since you're supposedly still with bed rest. You think you could be up to come for a little while? You'll be the biggest surprise of the night! The moment you feel tired or achy I'll drive you back…" he said, hoping for her to accept.

Olivia instantly loved Fin's idea, she couldn't wait to get out of her place, but she didn't think she could be the biggest surprise for her ex-partner. She couldn't help but feel that he might have grown tired of dealing with her while she was recovering. She quickly shook the thought; during the whole time Elliot stayed, he never complained about her moods. If anything, he had been charming, every day getting closer and closer than she ever thought was possible between them. She knew this week had been hell to him, arranging everything for the detective that would take over his position and getting ready to become the boss above his current coworkers, now soon-to-be subordinates, but he found time to call her, at least, three times a day. Those little things showed her he cared for her deeply, but she still couldn't bring herself to believe it.

"Yes, I'd love to!" she said smiling.

"Good! So I'll pick you up a little later… maybe at a quarter to nine, is that OK?"

"Yeah, it's great. And Fin? Thank you so much! I really appreciate all you're doing." She didn't only mean about getting her out of her apartment or giving her the opportunity to see the man she loved tonight, but also because if she hadn't been injured, she'd be organizing that little party herself. Fin knew that, and took on about the task himself without being asked.

"Aww, don't worry about it. Oh, and Benson?"

"Yeah?"

"Wear something nice… See ya later!" He said and quickly hanged up, leaving her staring at her phone for a moment. What was that? Had she been that transparent to her coworkers about her feelings for Elliot? She sighed and returned her focus to the file she had in her hands. At least, she already knew what to wear for that night; she didn't need to worry about it.

Eight thirty p.m. came sooner than she thought, but she was on time, giving the final touches to her make-up, hair and outfit. She was wearing a simple black dress, that reached her knees and showed a good part of her neck without making her look too provocative. It hugged all her curves and its low back would kill any man. She put on a silver necklace that Elliot had given her for her birthday a few years ago and she hadn't had the chance to wear till that night. She put on its matching earrings and sprayed on her best perfume. She checked her hair, and just as she finished with her lipstick and gloss, the doorbell rang.

After asking Fin to wait for her for a few minutes, she turned to her room and put on her high heeled black shoes. Grabbing her purse and putting on her coat in the process, she closed the door. Now, she was getting nervous. What if he met again with Dani Beck and they got back together? What if he didn't notice her and was sweet talking another woman at the bar? She didn't think she could take it. When she heard the beep coming from the elevator signaling it had reached the ground floor, she was grateful. She couldn't let herself submerge in those negative thoughts if she wanted to enjoy the night. Besides, if Elliot was into some other woman, she could always find herself a man who would be interested in her… _yeah, right! As if I wanted someone other than Elliot. _

When she got into Fin's car, he could tell she was nervous. After some minutes of silence, he said "Liv, what has you so worried? Are you feeling alright?"

She tried to smile but it didn't reach her eyes "I'm fine." She hesitated… but then she assumed it wouldn't hurt to tell Fin, since he wasn't going to be working with her anymore. Besides, he was like a brother to her… "I guess I'm a little worried about who's gonna be there…"

"What do you mean?" Fin said curiously.

"I mean, it's OK, Elliot is in the middle of a divorce, he can hit on whoever he likes, I accept it… it's just… I shouldn't be feeling so bad about that idea, I mean, it could totally happen and I should be happy for him! He's a handsome man… and… he-he would never…" She realized she had given away too much so she trailed off.

"What, Liv? He would never what?" Fin said with a knowing smile.

"He'd never look at me like that way…" she said, almost in tears "to him… I'm 'one of the guys' and it's so frustrating, it's been for years!" She said outraged and turned to look out to the window, ashamed.

"Are you jealous, Liv?" He said as he parked the car in the opposite sidewalk from the restaurant.

Olivia sighed and then turned to look at Fin in the eyes again "Yes, I am. I can tell you now; I won't be working with you daily anymore."

As Fin turned off the car and pulled his keys, he told her. "Don't be… jealous, I mean. Just believe me when I tell you, you don't have any reason to…" he looked at her intently for a moment, and then added "You look so beautiful that if I didn't love you like a sister, I would try to hit on you" he said and winked at her before getting out of the car to go to open her door.

As they walked to the restaurant arm in arm, in case Olivia needed his support, she lifted her eyes to him and said "Thank you, Fin. I really needed to hear that."

He smiled at her, as he kept the door open for her to enter and said "You're welcome, girl. Now, go kick some stupid blonde's butt."

She laughed and stepped in. _Ok, Elliot, here we go…_

**A/N: OK, guys, we're getting closer and closer to the moment of truth. Please, make me happy and leave a review! ;D Coming up next: Dinner! and Olivia's insecure thoughts get in the way, nothing that Dr. Fin can't fix.**


	17. Doubts and Hopes

**A/N: Hey! I'm really sorry for the long wait. I hope this chapter makes up for it! I wanna thank in advance to everyone who have been reading and reviewing this story so far. I promise there's a lot more to come for Liv and El.**

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 17 – Doubts and hopes**_

She stepped into the noisy room and looked around for a moment, searching for their table. It wasn't long before she caught sight of Elliot and her breath hitched, he looked incredibly handsome tonight. He was wearing a black suit, but he didn't have his jacket on, and a dark blue shirt that hugged every muscle from his toned body. Apparently, he had just gone to the men's room while they waited for the food to arrive, because he was about to take his seat at the table.

Then, she watched another figure stand from the other side of the long table, it was a woman. A blond woman with wavy hair, she was slender and beautiful. She asked him something before taking the –until then- vacant seat beside him, starting conversation with him. Oh, God! No! Olivia's biggest fear was coming true, because that was, in fact, Dani Beck! And she looked better than ever wearing that beautiful burgundy dress. Olivia was tempted to turn around and leave the restaurant before Elliot saw her.

She didn't even notice that he wasn't paying attention to the other woman's babbling. And, of course, she didn't even know that he hadn't been able to enjoy this celebration so far, because he was worrying about her, constantly wondering how she was doing. It didn't help the fact that Fin, his closest friend – apart from Liv – had left half an hour ago, claiming he had forgotten his wallet and he had to go back home and pick it up. Elliot sighed and, for the sake of politeness, tried to focus on the one sided conversation he was having with Dani Beck.

Olivia, on the other hand, was being led by Fin toward the table. When she realized she was moving, she snapped out of her miserable thoughts.

"Wait!" she said, grabbing Fin's arm.

"What is it, Liv? Are you OK?" he asked, knowing what she saw and how she would interpret it.

"Yes…" she needed to get out of there, she didn't want to face Elliot while she was about to be possessed by jealousy. She was afraid she'd say something she would regret, something so hurtful that could tear him away from her forever… _and into that bitch's arms!_

"Fin, I need to stop by the ladies' room first. I'll be right back!" she said and walked as fast as she could to hide without waiting for his reply. In her mind, she was toying with the idea of getting out of the restaurant unnoticed; she could always hail a cab outside.

Fin let out a defeated sigh and reassumed his seat in front of Elliot, evaluating the situation. He was sure Olivia would come back, but he needed to get Dani away from his friend. She was interfering with his master plan, schemed with one purpose only: to get Olivia and Elliot together.

"Elliot, man!" he called him, giving him a pointed glare "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure. Excuse us, Dani" Elliot said already standing but, at the same time, trying not to give away how much of a relief was to walk out of the blonde's monologue.

Fin took him to a corner, beside the bar. "What are you doin', man? Dani Beck, again?"

Elliot's eyes widened in disbelief… after all they had been through… he was outraged by his friend's assumptions. "Whoa, Fin. Really? After everything I told you about my feelings for Liv, you're asking me that? Dani was trying to seduce me but I didn't want to talk to her… however she wouldn't take a damn hint! And I couldn't exactly be rude, either, and brush her off!"

"OK, OK, man… I didn't really believe that you were hittin' on her, but the sight scared me! Just… try to stay away from her for the rest of the night… God knows I have more than enough love drama in my hands…"

"OK, don't worry about it, man." Elliot said with a frown. Fin's reaction was weird, to say the least.

"I gotta make a phone call, I'll be right back" Fin said and started his way to the ladies' room. He needed to check on Liv.

Meanwhile, Olivia was looking at her reflection in the mirror, trying to pep talk herself in order to gain the necessary strength to join her best friend's party and preparing to watch him get hit on by every single woman on the table. _God, Olivia, pull yourself together! You can't show weakness in front of your co-workers! He's just a guy, you knew he'd never look at you that way! Deal with it!_

She couldn't help the tears that managed to fall from her carefully made-up eyes and quickly dried them with a tissue. Then she sniffled and groaned in frustration at her own reaction. She was stronger than that, she couldn't let him get to her so much or she would end up losing him.

Back when he was married, she knew he was totally untouchable and she was fine with it, even though she really envied Kathy for having him. But now… that he was free, single… it was really unfair that he was about to slip away from her again, she couldn't deal with it.

A knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts "Liv!" it was Fin's voice "Are you alright?"

"Yes." She said and hated herself for letting her voice break in front of him. He would surely notice she had been crying.

"You don't sound OK… is there anyone else with you? Or I can come in?" he asked gently.

Olivia sighed and opened the door herself, she looked terribly sad. Fin grabbed her hands and pulled her out of the room into the hallway. "Liv, I didn't bring you here to have a bad night. What has made you so upset?"

Her bottom lip quivered and she swallowed hard before answering "He's moving on… I know I should be happy for him… he's my best friend… and Dani…"

Fin interrupted her by lifting his hand "Hold it right there… you're cryin' because you think Elliot is gonna hook up with Beck?"

"I don't think, Fin! I know is gonna happen! I saw them at the table; Elliot wouldn't take his eyes off her! You saw them, too!" she almost yelled.

"Olivia" he said sternly "None of that is gonna happen, believe me! I interrupted their little chat and Elliot actually thanked me for freein' him from Beck's unbearable babble. Yes, she was hittin' on him, that's true, I'm not gonna deny it. But Elliot doesn't like her, she doesn't mean anythin' to him!" Fin took a deep breath and repositioned his hands on each of Olivia's upper arms, trying to get her undivided attention to what he was about to say. Her eyes widened as he shifted his grip on her.

"YOU, Liv, on the other hand, seem to have no idea how much you mean to him. You deserve to be sitting by his side more than anyone in this room… so why aren't you there for your best friend? Why aren't you there for the man you're in love with? It's time to step up, Benson! Don't back down, now! Are we clear?"

Olivia was shocked by Fin's outburst, but his words had the desired effect. She bit her lower lip for a moment and then she said softly "You're right. I should be there."

"Of course I'm right!" he said with a smug smile, trying to loosen her up. "Now, you look gorgeous… Go and surprise him. I'm sure I'll have to help him get his jaw up from the floor, and it won't have anything to do with the fact that you're supposed to be in bed resting and not here… come on!" he winked and they started their way back to the table.

Fin went ahead and took his place. Two waiters were serving food at the moment, taking turns on different sides of the long table, so everything was a little hectic. Olivia made her way a little slower than Fin on her high heels, trying to avoid the remaining pain from her injuries. She was a few feet away when Elliot finally saw her and dropped his fork on the plate. His eyes lighted up with joy and tenderness at the sight of her and he smiled, the most beautiful smile, the one he reserved just for her. He rushed to her side and enveloped in a huge hug.

"Liv…" he whispered in her ear, letting out a contented sigh. "You're here!"

"Yes… so I guess this is where I should say 'Surprise!'" she laughed while she wrapped her own arms around his frame, leaning even more into him.

But as much as it pained him to let her go, he knew he'd have to do it soon, because they were being stared at by almost every person in the restaurant. He released her but not before he ran his hand through her hair and coming to rest it on her cheek for a moment. He caressed it briefly with his thumb as he looked into her chocolate eyes with his blue orbs filled with love, and whispered "You look beautiful… I mean, I've always thought you were incredibly beautiful inside out, have I ever told you that?"

She was shocked, to say the least, she had never expected that reaction from Elliot, not even in her wildest dreams. Olivia was sure her heart skipped a beat and her knees almost buckled right there, and she thanked God he was still holding her. "No, you haven't" she answered shakily, not sure where this was leading. Then, she lowered her eyes, maybe a little because of her own shyness to such an open compliment but most of all, because she was scared of the feelings he was conveying to her, not using his voice, but with his eyes.

Elliot let out a bittersweet chuckle and said "I'm sorry… I wasn't allowed to tell you back then… even though I've thought so since the day we met…but tonight, Liv, you look stunning!"

She gave him her brightest smile and said "Thank you, El." And then she added shyly "You look great, too. I love this color on you."

He smiled and winked at her, and she melted inside. He wrapped his arm around her, partly to help her move using the less strength possible and partly because he needed the contact with her, and chivalrously leaded her to sit beside him.

They really had a great time at dinner, mixing it with lots of anecdotes from old times. Olivia and Fin could have written a book with funny stories from those little moments they had while working in the Special Victims Unit with Elliot.

Olivia was in the middle of one of their 'adventures' when she suddenly felt someone's eyes burning into her with something like anger. When she raised her gaze, she was shocked to encounter Dani Beck's scowl; it was clear she was jealous of Olivia's charm, since she had captivated not only Elliot, but every man in the table. Liv swallowed and forgot for a moment what she was saying, but then her former partner turned to see what she was staring at and realized what was happening, so he caressed her shoulder and asked her to continue her story, and then whispered so only she could hear "Ignore her, Liv. She's just jealous because you have everyone's attention". He winked and smiled mischievously.

Then, she answered "El, she's mad because you haven't talked to her in over an hour. If you want to pursue a relationship with Dani, you should pay more attention to her… do you want me to move to the other seat?" She was trying to be a good friend but it was killing her inside to make that suggestion.

"Are you kidding me?" he said so loudly that everyone at the table turned to look at him. When he noticed that, he cleared his throat and continued in a much lower volume "Olivia, you stay where you are. I don't give a damn about Dani, she wasn't even the woman I really wanted to kiss back when you left to work with the feds, it was a temporary lapse in judgment, believe me."

"You don't have to give me your reasons… now if you don't mind, I'll finish telling the guys about the great time we had at the Swing Set" she smiled and winked at him, and he was hit with a flashback that left him momentarily stupid when he remembered the sight of Olivia in that dress. When she finished her story, Elliot wasted no time to ask her for a dance.

He extended his hand to her, expectant, and at first, it was clear she didn't understand what he wanted. "What is it, El? Do I owe you something?"

Considering how good she was as a detective, he couldn't believe how clueless she was when it came to these kinds of gestures, the ones he had been using to express, to demonstrate her what he couldn't describe with words. He knew he had been more than obvious and he was sure everyone sitting at the table that night could tell he was in love with her. And yet, she seemed oblivious to that little fact.

He laughed, a little nervous, and said "No, Liv. I was wondering… would you like to dance?"

Her eyes were twinkling as she answered "I'd love to. But I don't know how much longer my body is gonna take in before rebelling against me…" She took his hand and got up.

As he led her to the dance floor, he said "I'll be happy just to hold you, we don't have to move that much… but please" he said as they found their place and wrapped their arms around each other "The moment you feel pain, let me know. OK?"

"OK" she answered with a smile.

After holding each other for a while in a comfortable silence, Elliot finally found the moment to tell her what he'd been waiting to tell her all day. "Liv?" he whispered.

"Yeah?" she asked as she raised her head from his shoulder.

"I wanted to tell you that I heard from my lawyer today and… I-I'm divorced, finally" he couldn't understand why he was so nervous he was almost hyperventilating. This was Olivia, his best friend, how could he be so distressed about sharing that kind of news with her?_ Maybe because you want to put the moves on her? _His conscience told him. _Oh! Shut up!_

"Wow! You're a free man, now! Should I say 'Congratulations'?" she smirked and raised an eyebrow.

He chuckled and said "Thanks, I guess!"

She turned serious and asked "Are you OK?"

He sighed, relieved as if he had broken free of some huge weight behind his shoulders. "Yes." Then, he smiled and continued "Yes, Liv. Now, I am." He tightened his grip around her and they continued dancing for a while, until Elliot noticed that Olivia was really tired, so they decided to leave.

As he drove silently toward Olivia's home, he tried to gather the courage to finally say the words that would transform their friendship forever. He just hoped she would be willing to risk it for something better, something beautiful that would change their lives from now on.

**A/N: Coming up... a long and emotional conversation between Elliot and Olivia. Please, review!**


	18. Words of Love

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 18 – Words of Love**_

It was one in the morning when they finally entered Olivia's apartment. The ride back had been quiet, with each of them submerged in their own thoughts. They both had had a great time at the restaurant, and the attraction they felt to one another had reached a limit point, now it only left them to wonder how to express their feelings for each other.

Elliot was so in love with Olivia that he didn't think he could face the rest of his life without her. Back when he was recovering from the psychological trauma caused by precinct's shooting, he had taken some distance from her, thinking it would be for the best. Now, he asked himself how he could ever have considered the possibility of never seeing her again, when she was the person he needed the most… it was obvious that he wasn't thinking clearly back then.

Somehow, without her, he managed to get back on his feet and started to work again. It was funny, to say the least, that one of the first cases he caught while working at Queens Homicide turned out to be a joint investigation with Manhattan SVU, with her being the lead detective.

That's when his thoughts inevitably drifted to the outcome of that case and his mood sobered, as he remembered how close he had come to lose her forever. He would have confessed his love for her right then, but it was never the right time. During her hospital stay, at first, she was unconscious, after that, he was afraid of her reaction and then whenever conversations became too deep, they would get interrupted by visitors or the hospital staff.

While he stayed at her home, taking care of her, he tried to show her with actions and perceive her reactions, to his uncommon shows of affection, to his tender words. He could tell that he overwhelmed her at moments; Olivia was a very independent woman. But even though they had argued a lot during those weeks, he was hit even harder with the realization of how much he needed her, since there was no other place he'd rather be more than by her side.

The time he spent at work now, after leaving her apartment, made him miss her terribly. He had called her three times a day, everyday of the week, and it wasn't enough. He was really grateful to Fin for taking her to the restaurant, which had been the best surprise of the night. Now they were dealing with an awkward silence and he didn't know how to break the ice. But his decision's been made: he would tell her tonight.

He sighed as he dropped his keys on the counter and hanged his jacket. He turned to face her expectantly; waiting for her to decide if she wanted to seat on the couch and talk or if she was too tired for it and wanted to go to bed. She smiled at him affectionately and he melted inside, he could tell that her gaze wasn't guarded anymore, at least, whenever she was with him. The tough cop façade had fallen apart sometime during her recovery, and he was happy to be the only one lucky to meet that side of Olivia Benson.

"Want some coffee? I was wondering if you wanted to stay for a while…" she asked him, heading toward the coffee maker machine. She was fidgeting nervously, like she wasn't quite sure what to do with her hands.

"I'd love to. But tell me the minute you feel pain or you get too tired, I know you already were when we left the restaurant…" he said as he laid a hand on her shoulder, caressing her for a moment.

"Don't worry" she said as she handed him his cup and headed for the living room with her own. She flopped on the couch, which made her flinch in a little pain. She smiled trying to cover it up and said "Now I'm off my feet and the coffee will wake me up."

"OK" Elliot said as he sat beside her. "And don't think for a moment that I didn't see you just wince in pain, you have to be careful, Liv."

"OK, Captain Stabler!" she said, teasing him. But then, her demeanor changed as she said with a hint of… seduction, maybe? "I promise I'll behave, sir."

Elliot didn't know what to say, so he just settled for sipping his coffee carefully, trying not to burn his tongue.

Olivia took his silence as a bad sign, since she was testing the waters with him, too. As clueless as she was sometimes when it came to these kinds of things, even she couldn't deny that Elliot had said some pretty deep things tonight, especially when she arrived and he hugged her. It wasn't her imagination this time; he had said he thought she was beautiful. Inside and outside. She couldn't remember a time ever being happier than she had been when she heard those words. But, as much as she wanted to talk about them, she was scared. Scared to death, actually. Because considering her track with relationships, she thought maybe it would be for the best if she didn't start one with Elliot; she was pretty sure it would end badly and she didn't want to lose him. He was the most important person in the world for her. But on the other hand, she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to hide her feelings if Elliot kept his little gestures. She didn't know what to do. And this silence wasn't helping either, so she figured it would be best to start talking.

"So, Captain, did you have a good time at dinner?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh, yes, Liv. You guys didn't have to do that, I didn't deserve it…" he trailed off lowering his gaze to the floor, his thoughts wandering to the afternoon he shot Jenna.

Olivia noticed right away and tried to snap him out of it "Hey! Of course you deserved it! We are your friends and we care about you!"

"You shouldn't" he said, shaking his head.

When she realized her first attempt to cheer him up failed, she tried another method "Don't go all depressed on me, Stabler or I'll kick your ass. Now that I'm feeling better, I can do that!"

He chuckled at her joke, but still didn't look at her. So after putting her mug down on the coffee table and rearranging one leg under her, she leaned slightly toward him and took both of his hands between her own.

"Look at me" She waited until he lifted his blue eyes to her chocolate ones. "And now listen to me very carefully, Elliot. You deserved it. You deserve that and more. You practically gave away your whole life saving people, and yes, it has made you make some tough decisions, but you're not a killer. You saved all of our lives that day! And you've saved mine countless times at the risk of your own. You're a good person and it kills me to see that you can't…" she trailed off when she saw him lower his face again. She bit her lower lip and took a deep breath, deciding what to say to make him understand.

Olivia was silent for a moment as she placed her hand on his cheek, a gesture she had never allowed herself to make before. She caressed his face with her thumb and fixed her unwavering gaze against his blue orbs. She swallowed hard, her heart pounding two hundred miles an hour. Then, she surprised herself by cupping his other cheek, holding his face gently.

"Elliot" she whispered "I'll never be able to properly thank you for everything you've done for me… you were there when I had no one, even when it wasn't your job to look out for me after work…" She paused "What I'm trying to say is…" She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she continued "You're a special person to me, when I see you hurt, I feel your pain. And it cuts me like a knife to watch you torment yourself over what happened that day. I need you to see and to value that noble and beautiful heart of yours. You've shown me a glimpse of it each day, during every year we worked together. And when I got shot and you took care of me? You didn't have to do all that but you stepped up anyway, and I'm so glad you did, because I got the chance to meet another beautiful side of you I had never seen before. I wish you could see all the good things you've done for so many people… for me…"

Her eyes filled with tears that she wouldn't let fall. "I wish you could see how much you mean to every victim you've helped, to each one of your friends… " She swallowed again and finished her words "While you were out of reach, I felt so empty, working a job that I didn't love anymore. Until then, I hadn't realized that the reason I loved it so much was gone… I needed you by my side. You have no idea how much you mean to me…"

If Elliot was moved by the gentle touch on his face, it wasn't nearly enough compared to what he felt as he took in every word she was saying. When everything sank in, his eyes widened and Olivia seemed to realize the depth of what she had just revealed to him, so she let her hands slip away from his cheeks.

That's what it took to snap him out of the haze that had settled in his mind the moment Olivia started talking. He grabbed her chin gently between two fingers and lifted her face slowly, their gazes colliding.

"Olivia…" he paused for a minute, trying to find the words "You're my best friend and, for a very long time, I forced myself to believe I didn't see you in any different way. I was lying to myself, and when every feeling I felt came to light clearly while we were working Gitano's case… it scared me to death. I'm sorry, I should have said something… but I didn't, because I was afraid to lose your friendship, to lose you as a partner, to lose you completely… it turned out I almost lost you anyway back then. I don't wanna make the same mistake again."

He cupped her face gently as he continued "You, Liv, seem to have no idea what you really mean to me. I can't say I just care about you, because it isn't nearly enough to describe it. I can't say I love you as a friend because I would be leaving a huge part of my feelings out…" He took a deep breath and took both of her hands in his, mimicking her earlier gesture.

"But I can say I've been falling in love with you more and more all along thirteen years, until it reached a point where I can't bring myself to hide it anymore" He noticed she was petrified with disbelief and said "Yes, I love you, Liv. I need you by my side, too. W-would you… are you willing… have you ever considered… us…together?" he cursed himself mentally as he started to stutter.

Olivia smiled at him warmly, and suddenly everything was OK. Her eyes were shining, and her tender gaze, full of love, conveyed more than any voiced answer she could have given to him. She let go of one of his hands, only to run a finger down his cheekbone lovingly, leaning slightly toward him.

Elliot returned the caress gently and he couldn't take it anymore; he needed to kiss her right then. So he cupped her cheek lovingly and pulled her toward him, closing the distance between them and meeting her halfway. Their lips met in the most loving closed-mouthed kiss for a few moments, and it felt like they were in heaven. But soon, Olivia found herself enveloped in Elliot's arms as he deepened the kiss, taking it to a different level, transmitting to each other what they couldn't express with words.

When they pulled away, Olivia looked into his shimmering blue eyes as she said, a little out of breath "Elliot, I love you, too. I have… since day one, but I couldn't say it. My mind keeps telling me I can't risk losing you and I'm scared… but if I listen to my heart… I want more than anything for us to be together."

A little afraid of what her answer would be, Elliot's heart started to pound fast and hard as he asked her "Well, Liv… which one are you going to listen to?"

"Well, since you mean the world to me…" she gave him three little pecks simulating suspension points. Then she smiled at him adoringly and gave him another kiss, deep, full of meaning, like the first one.

When they pulled away, she said as she traced a finger down his face "Is that enough of an answer for ya?"

He smiled at her, and held her a little tighter as he concluded "So your heart it is." He felt her nod against his shoulder and kiss her again. Then, he stayed there cuddling with Olivia, caressing her hair absentmindedly for a while, until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Finally, they came clean about their feelings for each other. And for once, every missing piece of their battered hearts fell into place. For the first time in their lives, they felt complete; where they were meant to be.

**A/N: Coming up next: a little hesitation on Liv's side and more fluff. Please, review! **


	19. Daydream

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 19 – Daydream**_

The next morning, Olivia woke up feeling more rested than ever. It took her a minute to realize that she was comfortably encased in Elliot's arms, her head leaning on his shoulder, and that his cheek was resting against her hair. That's when the events of the night before came rushing back to the front of her mind. Elliot had said he loved her. And she said it back. _Oh. My. God!_

So, it was true! It wasn't a part of some crazy dream of hers. She was abruptly overwhelmed by an uncontainable happiness, which made her readjust her grip on Elliot's waist a little tighter. He breathed in deeply and she froze for a moment, afraid to have woken him up. But then he let the air out slowly, continuing his slumber, so she sighed contentedly and closed her eyes, intending to catch a few more minutes of sleep herself.

Just as she was dozing off again, she felt the arms around her squeeze her a little tighter and she couldn't help the smile that formed on her face.

"Good morning, Liv." Elliot said, his voice a little hoarse from sleep. He loosened the arm that was wrapped around her shoulder, caressing absentmindedly her auburn locks.

"Good morning, El" she answered softly.

Her heart started pounding hard and fast as her mind began to take over emotions. What were they doing? What if everything turned out wrong and she lost him forever? She didn't think she could take it! But she couldn't exactly deny her feelings for him right now; everything was out in the open… where would they go from here? She bit her lower lip in apprehension.

Elliot didn't need to look at her face to know what she was thinking. She tensed up visibly as he had anticipated last night; actually, he was surprised that he hadn't got this reaction from her yesterday. He loosened his hold completely, knowing she needed her space. She got up from the couch, leaving him with a sudden coldness that he didn't like at all. She turned her back to him for a moment, as she tried to find the words to approach the subject.

Elliot tried to be patient and give her time, but failed. He couldn't stand the huge wall she was raising between them, not now when they were finally in the right place. He stood up too, and walked the few steps to Olivia, who was standing looking out the front window, and stopped himself short just before he laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Liv…" he paused for a moment, hoping she would turn around. When she didn't, he asked her "Liv, what is it?"

Olivia opened her mouth but no sound came out, she couldn't speak past the knot in her throat. There was not a doubt in her mind that she would end up losing Elliot. Her eyes filled with tears that fell before she could stop them. She massaged the partition of her nose for a moment and tried to dry her tears inconspicuously, but Elliot noticed it right away.

He finally laid a hand on her shoulder and turned her around gently. She crossed her arms around herself protectively and kept her gaze on the floor, afraid of what she would see in his oceanic eyes.

"Olivia, look at me." Elliot caressed her shoulder, trying to reassure her but to no avail.

"Olivia, look at me." He repeated a little more forcefully and still had no response. He bit his lower lip for a moment and laid a second hand on her other shoulder. When she didn't protest, he pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. He kissed the crown of her head, and said "Liv, please don't push me away." He tightened his grip on her as he pleaded her "You know you can tell me anything. Tell me what's wrong."

"Elliot…" She chided herself mentally when she heard her voice break. "You know my track record with men… I always screw up! I've been alone my whole life, you know that! If I screw up with you… I couldn't stand it! How could I go on without the only person I have ever loved? The only person that has ever cared for me in return?"

He released her from his hug, but didn't let go of her totally as he lifted her face to look into her eyes. "Liv, you'll never lose me. I love you too much to leave you, even if a romantic relationship doesn't work out between us." Then he smiled at her "Although, considering all the arguments we faced and survived during our partnership, I'm confident we're gonna make it."

Then, he took both of her hands in his own and fixed his blue orbs on her brown ones. "Liv, after last night, I can't go back to be your best friend. I mean, if you asked me to, I would do it before losing you. But I was hoping you'd give us a chance... after all…" He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves "You did say you love me…" he paused as a slow smile came to his face as he realized it himself. "And the kisses we shared said more than thousand words. Please, Liv, I've waited so long for you... we'll take it one day at a time and I promise everything's gonna be alright."

Olivia looked through his unguarded sapphire eyes to his soul, it was so full of light and love, and all of a sudden her doubts disappeared. She wanted to tell him so, but the emotion of the moment rendered her speechless.

"El, I-I…" she swallowed hard and tried again. "El, I love you and I need you. You have no idea how long I've waited for you…" She shook her head and settled for conveying her feelings through a hug.

Elliot closed his arms around her, breathing a sigh of relief. She was about to cup his face between her hands and bring him down for a kiss when she remembered they had just woken up, so she released him and with a warm smile she told him "I better go freshen up, and then I'm gonna fix breakfast. Make yourself comfortable and then the bathroom is all yours. Today's Saturday. You're staying, right?" She felt him nod and her heart filled with joy. She traced the contours of his face briefly before releasing him and starting her way to her bedroom.

Elliot, however, had another idea, as he caught her arm, brought her back into his embrace before claiming her lips in a close-mouthed, but full-of-feeling kiss. After he let her go, she smiled at him lovingly and slid off his grip, and this time he didn't stop her as she headed again toward her bathroom.

Hoping she wouldn't take too long, he flopped himself down on the couch, still not quite believing what had happened in the last twelve hours. He had confessed his feelings to Olivia and she loved him back. And now, that they weren't partners anymore; there was not an obstacle in their way, except for their own personalities. He chuckled at that thought; they both were handfuls in their own ways. But they could deal with that… actually, they could deal with anything. Elliot chuckled as it dawned to him that they had been dealing with each other's tempers for more than thirteen years, they knew every flaw and virtue from one another. Oh, yes… they could totally do it.

* * *

><p>Two weeks later, Olivia had gone back to work. This new position proved to be a real challenge for her; she was working almost around the clock. Considering the job was already demanding to begin with, she still had a lot to catch up on and it didn't help the fact that she had been daydreaming all the time, every day of the last two weeks about Elliot.<p>

So far, the new relationship she and her ex-partner started had been going great. The hadn't been able to see each other as much as they wanted, because of their demanding schedules, but whenever they could they found little free spots in their agendas to spend some time together, no matter how tired they were. That is without counting the four to six phone calls they shared during their working hours.

And that's as far as it went, for now. There was an unspoken agreement between them in which they had decided to take things slowly, even though they had wanted each other for years. They couldn't bear the thought of losing the other, so they were being cautious. Not to the point of being awkward, but taking their time and enjoying the fact that they were now a couple.

Olivia smiled for the thousandth time at the thought of her –boyfriend?- she didn't know if the term suited their age. Suddenly, she was startled out of her thoughts as one of Muldrew's men knocked on her already open door before letting himself in.

"Chief Benson." He said before shaking her hand. "I came here to deliver the Chief's invitation to the Black and White gala the NYPD has organized." He handed her an envelope that obviously contained her and her escort's invitation.

"The Chief also wants you to know that you will be recognized for your heroic actions when you rescued Vincent's last victim. You almost gave your life for her and you deserve to be honored by the entire department."

Olivia was speechless, she had never expected that. She had been decorated before, but not in front of so many high ranked members of the NYPD.

"Thank you, sir. I don't know how to thank the higher ups…"

"No, Chief Benson, we thank you, for being such a great police officer."

As she watched her colleague leave the office, she shook her head and chuckled to herself in disbelief. She reached for her desk phone and started dialing a number committed to her memory by heart; she couldn't wait to tell him.

"Stabler."

"Hey, El. How are you?"

"Hey, beautiful. I'm up to my ears with paperwork, but, thank God, the murderers seem to be taking a break for now. How's my favorite partner?"

"I haven't been your partner anymore for a while now, El… you should be used to that idea by now." She joked with him, she knew exactly why he had said that.

"Oh, you're my partner in another meaning of the word now, in case you haven't noticed, Liv…"

"OK, OK, I know." She laughed. "I'm doing fine, too. With a lot of paperwork, too, and in the afternoon I have a meeting at the FBI headquarters. Some perp they haven't been able to catch has raped three girls in the last two days here in Manhattan. Cragen is flipping out right now, along with Fin and Munch. They'll be there, too."

"Oh, great!" he said sarcastically. "Good luck with that, and send my regards to the guys."

"Will do. I also wanted to talk to you about something else, El. I've been invited to a Black and White gala, organized by the NYPD higher levels." Suddenly, she was getting nervous. They hadn't talked about making their relationship public and she didn't know if he would want to go. But she was going to be recognized by the whole department and she wanted to share that moment with the man she loved, who happened to be the same guy that had helped her become the cop she was today.

She struggled, trying to find words to soften the question but finding no way "I d-don't know if you've been invited… It's next Saturday… but if you haven't… do you think you could come with me? I know we haven't talked about letting people know we're together and even less in front of the entire department… but I really need you there…"

Her heart pounded so loud that she almost couldn't hear Elliot's response. "Liv, if it were for me, the world would already know we're together. I never said anything because I wasn't sure how you'd react… of course I'll go with you, I'd be honored."

Her smile threatened to split her face in two. She dropped her pen and rested her chin on her hand as she said "The officer that delivered the invitation, one of Muldrew's guys, told me that I'm going to be decorated at the ball, because of my actions on the Vincent's case. I've never expected that… but I'm so happy and I wanted to share that with the man I love."

"Oh, honey, Congratulations! You, more than anyone, deserve that award. I'm so happy for you!" He sighed contentedly, and said in a tone that came from deep inside his heart "I love you, Liv. I'm so proud of you, baby."

Olivia's eyes overflowed with tears and she felt her heart fill with happiness caused by his words. No one had ever told her that and really meant it; sometimes she felt the need to pinch herself because of what she had been feeling in the last few days. For the first time in her forty something years, she was happy. She swallowed hard, trying to hide her emotion from Elliot when she answered "Thanks, El, I love you, too. It means a lot to me if you come. Really… thank you…"

"Oh, babe…" Elliot started to say something but suddenly went silent, and Olivia could hear a voice in the background, telling him something. She heard him answer "OK, McDonough, tell Blane I'll be right there"

"Liv, I gotta go, but I was going to ask you if you wanted to come to my place tonight, have some dinner together?"

"I'd love to, El. Now, I won't keep you on the phone anymore, go do your job, Captain!" she laughed, a sound he loved to hear, something she had been able to do more lately.

"OK, honey." He said, with a smile in his voice. "Love ya, see you tonight." He didn't wait for her reply because he really had to go, but there was not a doubt in his mind what it would be.

And Olivia knew he had to get to that crime scene. Even though he couldn't hear her, as she hanged up her phone, she whispered out loud "I love you, too."

As she continued to work, she found her mind wandering back to that phone call and she couldn't wait for dinner time to arrive. When she realized that after an hour she had read the same paragraph twenty times without having any idea what it said, she chuckled and closed the folder. She exited her office to grab something to eat; it seemed her daydreaming wasn't leaving her alone anytime soon.

**Author's Note: Hey, guys! I know a lot of you have alerted this story but, if you don't leave me a review, I get the feeling like nobody is reading. Please leave some feedback and let me know how I'm doing, it keeps me motivated. On the other hand, I wanted to let you know I'm working on a new story, I guess I'll be posting it between this week and the next one. ;-)**


	20. Acceptance

_**A/N: First of all, I wanna thank the readers for the amazing reviews I've received when I posted last chapter! You guys are great and give me motivation to write more! Please keep leaving me your feedback! :-D**_

_**On the other hand, in response to a particular comment, I wanna make something clear here: if you check the genre of the story, you'll find out it reads ROMANCE/Drama. I tried to stay in character as much as I could while they danced around each other, and I'm trying to keep it up in this part of the story, when finally the cards are on the table, as hard as it is, because we never saw the real characters acting like this. **_

_**If you don't like the way I write it, no one obligates you to read it. This is an AU story after all, and it is based on how I would've wanted it to turn out.**_

_**I'm sorry the rest of you have to read this clarification because of one reviewer, but I needed to make my point. **_

_**Now, for the romantic ones… here goes another chapter full of fluffy content. I'm making up for all the time it took to get here. ;-)**_

**DISCLAIMER: Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story is solely for entertainment and practice.**

_**Chapter 20 – Acceptance**_

Before she knew it, Saturday night arrived. Olivia had had the day off, which didn't help her already shattered nerves, even though she had taken a few files to occupy her time during the morning and afternoon.

Finally, it was time to get ready; Elliot would pick her up in an hour. She took her new expensive black dress from the closet, and the heels she was going to wear for the ball. After a shower that did nothing to relax her and putting on her underwear, she started to dry her hair. She curled it and tied part of it in a loose half ponytail with a delicate clasp, letting the rest of it cascade down past her shoulders. She left two streaks at the front, framing her face.

Now it was time to put the dress on. The beautiful gown consisted of a corset with a heart shaped neckline, highlighting her chest. It ended below her waist in peak form. The skirt fell in several layers of cloth, giving it an irregular texture. The whole dress was sprinkled with several sparkling black stones, making it incredibly elegant. To complete her look, Olivia had bought a shawl that matched the dress' fabric. She hanged it on a chair in her living room until it was time to go before putting on her long silver earrings and matching pendant with diamonds.

And to finish up, she started on her make-up. She did her eyes as always, highlighting them this time in combined shades of black and grey. For her lips, she applied a dark pink lipstick, and softened it with a lighter tone. Just as she was spraying herself with her –and Elliot's- favorite perfume, she heard someone knocking on her door. That's when she saw the clock sitting on her dresser, it was time to go! Her heart was beating so fast, she was a nervous wreck. Tonight, she and Elliot would go public. _Oh, God!_

And to add to matters, this was technically their first date, because all the time they had been spending together had taken place at her apartment or his. Wow, some first date! But if there was two people who could deal with that kind of pressure, it was them.

Just as Elliot was about to knock again, she opened the door, and for a moment he wasn't able to pick up his jaw from the floor. She blushed under his unwavering stare and opened the door wider, so he could come in. The movement snapped him out of his daze and he stole a kiss as they went inside. When he pulled away, he took her beauty in for a minute and finally told her "Liv… wow! Beautiful doesn't even begin to describe how you look tonight. It's a good thing we're telling people we're together."

He winked, and thought _if any guy looks at her in a wrong way, there will be hell to pay. _But suddenly, in the middle of his little anticipated attack of jealousy, he remembered that he couldn't embarrass Olivia like that at the gala so he tried to relax._ Cool it, Stabler. She doesn't need this tonight!_

"Thank you, El. You look so handsome... Thank God most of the people there will be men, except the wives of most cops… they'll be drooling over you, Stabler! So you better watch it…" she said with a smirk, even though she knew she had nothing to worry about with Elliot.

"They can drool all they want… I only have eyes for you, babe. I love you. " he said as he leaned in for another kiss that soon deepened. He pulled her into his embrace as he continued kissing her and she felt she was the luckiest person in the world. Yes, it took her a long time to find the love of her life, but all her lonely life and sadness ended the night Elliot told her the words she had never heard before, and now she was living a dream. She thanked whoever had sent him to her, for making cross paths back then when she was hired by Cragen to work for the Special Victims Unit. That was the year that her life started to change.

Their lips were still locked as Elliot ran his hands up and down her spine, caressing her back, and then brought one up to play with her hair and the other to rest on her cheek. Then, he reluctantly pulled away to rest his brow against hers, as they caught their breath. When she lifted her face, she looked at him adoringly and responded "I love you, too, El. I can't even describe how much".

She traced the bridge of his nose with a carefully manicured finger, their eyes never leaving each other's. And suddenly she remembered they had to go "Elliot, we're gonna be late! I'll be right back." she said as she squeezed his hand, before turning to her bedroom to put on her shoes and check her appearance one last time.

Elliot was nervous, too. And he couldn't help but pace a little around her living room while he waited for her. Besides, he didn't want to sit and wrinkle his expensive attire. He was wearing a very elegant black suit with a white shirt and a black bow tie. He didn't even want to think how much it had cost him, but this event was really important for Olivia and she deserved the best.

When she came back a minute later, he picked up her shawl from the chair and put it over her shoulders. She smiled at his chivalrous gesture and he couldn't help but kiss her again, their lips remaining together for a moment.

"We should go…" he said as he opened the door for her. She quickly grabbed her little purse and stepped outside the apartment. Once she locked the door, Elliot took her hand in his, leading her to the elevator in a comfortable silence.

The reception hall where the gala would be held wasn't that far from Olivia's apartment, so they arrived there in less than twenty minutes. Before leaving the car, Elliot asked her "Are you nervous, Liv?"

She hesitated for a bit before admitting "Yes, El, I am… but it's not because of you" she hastily clarified before he asked her if she wanted him to act only as an escort. She took both of his hands in hers and told him "Elliot, I wanna do this, I need to do this. They can't stop us, we're not partners anymore. Besides, they'd find out sooner or later, so… let's rip the band aid once and for all…"

Then, a smirk graced her face "Also… they can't make any scandals, the Mayor is here." Elliot chuckled as he brought her face to his lips and kissed her tenderly before he let her go and left the car, rushing to her side to assist her while she got out of the vehicle.

When they entered the place, suddenly the room immersed in silence and everyone there stared at them for a moment, until Chief Muldrew reacted and walked over to them "Chief Benson, Captain Stabler" He said as he shook hands with both of them "It's wonderful to see you tonight. Although I'm surprised you didn't bring your wife, Captain, how's your family?"

Elliot cleared his throat before answering "She's my ex-wife now, Chief. And my children are great, thanks for asking." A smile came to his face as he added "Tonight I'm honored to be in the company of this amazing woman." He made her make a turn, modeling her outfit. Then, he and Olivia locked eyes for a moment, coming to a mutual decision. Elliot squeezed her hand briefly and looked at the other man pointedly before he continued "She's the one you'll be seeing me with from now on, Chief. Liv and I… we wanted to let you know… we're together."

For a moment, their superior didn't react and they thought the worst: they were going to be yelled at, they would both lose their ranks, Olivia wouldn't receive her award, and they were going to be fired. But then, the Chief smiled warmly at them and said "We dedicate our whole lives to save people we don't even know unconditionally and that only makes it harder for us to admit that sometimes we are the ones that need to be saved. I know your jackets by memory, back when you were detectives, partners, and I know you have saved each other's lives multiple times. You are good people and you deserve to be happy. If you want to save your lives and be there for each other after work that's fine by me and the whole department. Congratulations!" He said before shaking a stunned Elliot's hand and kissing Olivia's hand gentlemanly. As Muldrew walked away from them, the couple looked at each other, shocked. But it was a good shock and they smiled in realization that the hardest part of the night had gone alright.

After a few more acquaintances, dinner was about to be served, so Elliot led Olivia to the table with his hand resting on her back possessively, letting every male in the room know that she was taken. As they approached the table, they were glad to find out they shared it with Captain Cragen, Fin and Munch. The captain had been invited because of his rank and for being Olivia's C.O. at the time of the action she was being decorated for. But Fin and Munch had been invited because Don Cragen had pushed hard and persuaded the authorities saying this team had worked together for more than ten years and they needed to be there for their 'sister' in blue.

After dinner, a band started to play all styles of music for a while, until they settled on a slow rhythm. Soon, the dance floor filled with couples and Elliot wasted no time to extend his hand to his couple. She looked at him, wide eyed, so he prodded her "Come on, Liv, dance with me? I mean…" at her hesitation, he started to get nervous, their friendship was old but their new relationship was still new, they were getting to know each other again in some ways. "We've done it, before, remember?" He gave her his most charming smile, one she couldn't refuse. She chuckled as she took his hand.

As Elliot led her to the dance floor, he told her "So… we're really doing this, huh? Are you sure?"

"Aren't you? If you want, we can wait… I mean, Muldrew already knows…" Olivia said, surprised to see Elliot hesitating.

"Oh, no, baby! I'm sure, I just wanted to make sure you were too!" he said as they found their place in the middle of the room.

Elliot wrapped an arm around Olivia's waist, pulling her whole body tight against his. As she put her hand on his shoulder, he took the other in his and started to move to the slow melody that the band was playing. When Olivia lifted her gaze and stared into Elliot's oceanic eyes, she felt time stand still and realized there was no other place in the world she'd rather be than in his arms. She looked at him lovingly and felt a surge of joy when she saw all of her feelings mirrored in Elliot's eyes.

He was lost since the moment she focused her chocolate eyes on him, like in a trance. After a few minutes, Olivia broke eye-contact and put her head on his shoulder as he pulled her even closer. Then, he inclined slightly and whispered slowly in her ear "You're making it impossible for me to avoid kissing you. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on…" He couldn't take it anymore, so he gently took her chin between his fingers and lifted her face. "Liv, I'm gonna kiss you now, and then… everyone will know, OK?"

Olivia was speechless. No other man before had treated her like that ever, she felt cherished, loved for the first time in her life. She could do nothing more than nod and close her eyes as she saw him lean in. And when their lips met, everything around them faded. In fact, after kissing for a moment they suddenly remembered where they were and it dawned to them that, except for the music, the room was silent. They looked around and found out everyone was staring at them.

Everyone wore different expressions on their faces, but most people looked surprised. Cragen looked extremely pleased, he really was happy for them. Fin was smiling as he stretched a hand to Munch and the older man had to hand over a hundred bucks. Sergeant Tucker from Internal Affairs looked really pissed since, as much as he would have loved to mess with Stabler for that… Benson was now one of the highest ranked officers in the NYPD, and she was Muldrew's new favorite… a snap of her fingers and his ass would be in a silver platter.

Seeing that the whole room was waiting for them to say something, Elliot cleared his throat as he wrapped an arm around Olivia, pulling her to him sideways. "Uhm… yeah… I-I guess all of you should know we're together, now…" and then he smirked as he added "That's not a crime, isn't it? You're not going to arrest me, aren't ya?"

Everyone laughed at that, considering they were all cops. With that everyone reassumed their activities, some were chatting at the bar, others were dancing and the rest of the people were talking at their tables.

Elliot and Olivia continued swaying in time with the music, enjoying the time together much more now that the cat was out of the bag. All of a sudden, she tensed, which made him straighten up to see what was wrong, and he found out soon enough: Tucker was approaching them.

"Sergeant Tucker" Elliot acknowledged him with a nod, unwilling to release his former partner to shake this man's hand.

"Captain Stabler, Chief Benson." He waited until Olivia nodded and continued "You made quite a show some minutes ago. It shouldn't surprise me, you two have always been known for breaking rules."

Elliot was about to answer something he would regret, but Olivia was faster "We're not breaking any rules here, Tucker. We're not partners anymore."

Tucker chuckled spitefully and said sarcastically "Oh, nooo, Chief Benson! Of course not! You two just had to go and give the word 'partner' a whole new meaning, didn't you? When the rumor of this goes around, the whole police academy will turn into a motel, because all the students will want to indulge in their desires."

They couldn't believe Tucker still resented them that much; they were at a loss of words as they watched the other man spit venom. He finished with "Oh, and congratulations! I hope you'll be very happy" without meaning it at all.

"That son of a bitch…" Elliot started, the vein already swelling. But Olivia interrupted him quickly.

"El, no. Don't let him get to you… he can't mess with you anymore and he knows it. Muldrew is OK with us and he was the only one that was important. Let's just enjoy the night, OK?"

He gave her a little smile and replied "OK."

And they sank into a comfortable silence as they danced for a while longer. Then, it was time for dessert and they went back to the table.

An hour later, Elliot was deep in conversation with their friends at the table when Olivia came back from the ladies' room after retouching her makeup. Just as she sat, someone stepped on the stand and cleared his throat.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. As you all know, we're all reunited here because, apart from celebrating another successful year for the NYPD, we want to thank our most dedicated men and women properly for putting their life in danger selflessly for everybody, every day, every year. We're gonna call each member worthy of this award ordered by rank."

"Officer Daniel Alvarez, please come here." A young man stepped up the stage and received a plaque "Officer Alvarez threw himself in front of a car to protect a three-year-old child that had let go of his mother's hand. He was hurt badly, but he's here with us and we thank you, Officer. We're proud of you." The room erupted in applause and the chiefs continued with the decorations for another half hour, until they reached the last one and most important.

"Everyone should stand up and watch as we honor one of New York finest. During her long career working for the Special Victims Unit for twelve years next to her partner, they had the highest percentage of closed cases in the whole city. And after her partner transferred, she continued that rate, proving again her quality as a detective. Her actions made her worthy of a promotion and she was about to start her new position as Chief of the Special Victims Department when she and her new partner got inside Thomas Vincent's property to execute a search warrant. But they found the criminal's last victim tied to a chair. Olivia Benson untied her, leaving her back under her partner's protection, only to find out afterwards he had been knocked unconscious. In her quest to save the girl, she was shot three times by the perp, was left on the brink of death. But thankfully, it wasn't her time to leave us."

Muldrew took the microphone then and continued "Olivia Benson, on behalf of New York's Police Department, we don't have enough words to thank you for contributing so greatly to make this city a better place. You're an example to every member of this force, no matter the rank. Please, come over, Olivia, and receive this commemorative inscription. At the end of the year, you'll be given a medal in uniform."

As she got up, she felt Elliot pull her into his embrace for a moment. "I'm so proud of you" he said before letting her go quickly and giving her a gentle push toward the stage.

After giving her the plaque, the chief of detectives told her "Please, Chief Benson, say a few words"

When Olivia took the microphone, her hands were shaking "Oh my God! I never thought I'd get to this place in my life… I wanna thank the NYPD and the Chiefs for trusting me and picking me to start this new department. And for this award, I'll never be able to thank you enough. I wanna thank Captain Cragen, for being one of the best commanding officers I've ever had, I really learned a lot from you, Don. To my friends, Fin and Munch, for being there for me, for pulling me up when I was feeling down… you know what I mean."

Then she took a deep breath as tears came to her eyes. "But, most of all, I wanna thank Elliot Stabler." She tilted her head a little and fixed her eyes solely on his. "You made me a better cop, El, a better person, actually… and you were there for me when I had no one. There aren't any words to describe how much you've done for me, how thankful I am and how lucky I am to have you. I love you" she said as she placed her free hand where her heart would be "and I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you."

His eyes filled with tears as he gazed at her with a look full of love. He smiled as a few drops made their way down his face, and mouthed his response "I love you, too."

The crowded room broke in applause as Olivia wiped an elusive tear that had escaped her eye. Then she left the stage, walking right back into Elliot's arms, the safest shelter in the world for her. Just like she had known since the day they met that she could confide in him to watch her back, she realized at that moment she could trust him with her whole heart and she'd never be harmed. This was the place where she belonged.

_**A/N: Please, review! I would love to get as many reviews as I got last time. Thanks in advance!**_


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